Friday, February 25, 2011

M feels good about it

I work with a woman, and we'll call her M for anonymity.  My last 3 pregnancies, M has "known".  She's just like that...she can sense it.  Erin and I always kid around and say it's her creepy voo-doo that makes her know, but I don't know how she does it, but she always just knows.

Yesterday, I went to tell her about us expecting again, and before I even said anything, she just said "I already know...but I haven't said anything.".  Now, I told a person who works next to her the day before, and I asked her if C had told her, and she said "Yes, but I've known for a lot longer than that".  When I asked her how long she's felt it, she said she's known for about a month...which ironically is about how long Adam and I have known.

M and I continued talking and she told me that she felt last time that I wasn't going to get to keep Bailey.  She said she just felt it.  But, she said that she feels good about this one and she feels like it's all going to work out good for us this time.  I don't remember her telling me that last time.

So, as odd as it is, I felt a little comforted to know that M feels like this one is good.  And God only knows how much I hope and pray she is right.

So, it's going on the books today, that M feels like this one is the one...and little CB, I do hope you are the one we get to keep, because I'm already head over heels in love with you.

Question to my readers:  Have you ever had anyone tell you something "odd" like this before and do you remember how it turned out?

Monday, February 21, 2011

7w4d

Ultrasound this morning at 8:00 a.m. with my RE and music to my ears...CB's little heartrate was nice and strong at 155 bpm.  RE made it clear we are not out of the woods yet, which I know, but I hope and pray little CB stays with us for the next 32 weeks and then makes a grand arrival!

I know all the statistics...there is less than 5% chance of miscarriage after hearing the heartbeat...but, I know how my odds tend to go.  I also know though that my 1st 2 m/c's were before we even got far enough to see anything.

I'm still spotting, but I think I am just not "normal" and this is my "normal"...with Bailey, I bled full out at 9 weeks.  With this one, if spotting is it...then hallelujah...I can handle that.

Nausea kicked in this week...nothing horrible, just enough to let me know it's there.  I've been exhausted for about 2 weeks and making constant trips to the bathroom.  But, I'll take all of it.  We are doing daily injections of progesterone, which Adam gives to me in my butt every night...he's NOT loving that part.

But, so far...so good.  I went ahead and announced on Facebook because we can use all the prayers from friends and family that we can get. 

Here's a picture of CB (btw:  CB is because "C" will be the first letter in this baby's first name, and if it's a girl, her middle name will be Bailey, so we have decided to call this one CB until that time) at 7w4d (measuring at 7w1d which is right on track from last week).

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dreams

The dreams I have during pregnancy are enough to disturb anyone I think.  That's one symptom I could do without, but it is one that has been consistent throughout my pregnancy with Bailey and now with CB.

With Bailey, I always had dreams about random people I don't know dying while they were around me.  One person fell off a cliff and plummeted to death.  I found one person in a river who had drowned...they were always weird and creepy. 

With this pregnancy, most dreams have been about me being in NCIS.  Now, I totally don't mind those dreams when you are wandering around with Gibbs, DiNozzo, McGee, and Ziva...but, they're sometimes rather odd too.

But last night, I had a dream that I was bleeding heavily.  I woke up, jumped up, ran to the bathroom (needed to pee anyways), and did a check.  No blood.  I know these kinds of dreams are supposed to be the "worry dreams"...but, geez.

I'm just ready for Monday.  I want to make sure CB is doing okay.  I want him or her to strive.  I want him or her to be healthy.  And I want him or her to live.  I want to bring a happy, healthy, alive baby home in September or October.

I don't think it's too much to ask for, right?

Monday, February 14, 2011

A Valentine's Day to Remember

NOTE:  This post WILL have triggers for MOST of my followers. 

I know I will probably be black-listed from a lot of my readers...actually...I don't know that I really have that many "readers" anymore...but, nonetheless, I figure this will black-list me for some...I can't say I blame you and I am so sorry for those it hurts.  Please know I love you all.

I wanted to share this with the people who read my blog first, because it is you all who have helped get me through the last 9 1/2 months.  It is you all who have supported me when we decided to adopt.  It is you all who I pray for every night.  And it is you all who deserve to hear this straight from the horses mouth.

After a long, hard 9 1/2 months, many sleepless nights, many tears, and disappointments, I can finally announce that Bailey is going to be a big sister!  I have known for almost 3 weeks, finding out DAYS before my test date. 

On January 25th after getting a positive pregnancy test, I went for my first beta.  Levels came back at 26.22.  On the 27th, they went up to 104.5!  My final beta on February 3rd came back at 1936. 

It's been a monster of a roller coaster already.  I have already had spotting, which didn't start with Bailey until 9 weeks.  It's been mainly brown but 2 episodes of pink were enough to make me think it was over.

But, today, on a Valentine's Day to remember (I'm not really into Valentine's Day most years...I think it's a Hallmark holiday)...we had our first ultrasound this morning, and this little one showed us a nice strong heartbeat (that we got to hear too) and was in the 130's!

We will be having weekly ultrasounds for the first few weeks with my RE and then we will be released to go to the MFM & my regular OB/GYN at around 10 weeks.  I should have my cerclage put in at 12 weeks, and then we will go from there.  The MFM has a whole big plan of what he wants to do. 

Lots of Dr.'s appointments coming up, but I am finally excited at what the future (hopefully) holds for us!  And I pray with every fiber of my being that this little one is the one who gets to come with us in September/October!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Anxiety

So much is going on right now and I'm having such anxiety.  I can't divulge any information right now, but I just ask if you are a pray-warrior...please keep us in your prayers.  I will divulge what I know soon...very soon, so stay tuned.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Blizzard 2011

Oklahoma has received "the Blizzard" of 2011 and it takes me back to "the Blizzard" of 2009.  Christmas Eve 2009, we got record amounts of snowfall.  Adam and I had been in our house for just a month.  Christmas was so important that year, because we had planned on telling my parents that we were pregnant.  And the blizzard about ruined it all. 

But, my mom and dad came to the rescue, and drove for 7 hours to pick us up and take us back with them.  The drive they made normally only takes 2 hours round trip.  I had a HORRIBLE headache by the time we got there, and after we opened presents, we made our announcement.  It was special.

This year...the blizzard has us at home, snowed in, doing not much of anything.  I should be working on poofies for my quilt and for potholders, working on the recipe book, so we can raise more money, but I'm being lazy and not really doing anything.  It's noon, and I've worked on a few poofies, but mainly what have I done?  I've played on Facebook and taken a nap. 

It's a lazy day...