Monday, May 23, 2011

20w4d

We had our appointment with our MFM today at 20w4d.  Miss Cameron is measuring right on track and weighs in at a whopping 15 ounces!  We are so close to a pound!  I asked the ultrasound tech to "confirm" again that Cameron is a girl (for my own peace of mind), because I was having those crazy dreams about delivering and her being a boy.  I would love her/him either way, but I am not one who likes surprises!  The ultrasound tech immediately confirmed Cameron is a girl! 

As we were getting pictures of our little girl, Adam started cracking up laughing when the tech took a picture in 2D of her nose/lips.  When I asked what he was laughing so hard about, he said he was laughing because the picture made her look like Rygel from Farscape.  So, here is the picture that is Adam's favorite of the day, along with a picture of Rygel...you can look and see for yourself...

For the record...I cannot believe I just posted the pictures in comparison...but it was so funny to sit in the Dr.'s office and listen to Adam laughing so hard at this picture and to come up with this comparison.  Now, he questions if he is the father, or if the father is some creepy little critter from a Sci-Fi show!



We also got a 4D picture of her profile.  She always has a hand or arm in the picture...that I have accepted!  When looking at pictures of her in 4D and looking at pictures of Bailey, I can already see resemblances between my 2 little girls. 

Since my last post, we have talked with my regular Dr. and she has told us that we will probably go ahead and deliver Cameron at 37 or 38 weeks (if I get all the way to there), just because she understands the anxiety I have as a BLM.  She said we will discuss the pros and cons when we get closer and will make a decision of what will be best for me and Cameron at that time.  So, if we do deliver at 37 or 38 weeks, she should be here between September 15-22!  Four more months and we should get to meet this little girl!

But, for now, she needs to stay put, continue to grow, and my body needs to hang in there.  All is well and that's how we like it!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Today is such a bittersweet day.  A day of what should have been's and a day of what is.  And even though I miss Bailey with all of my heart, today, I am at peace with what is.

Our journey through infertility and loss has been so complex and kind of strange when it comes to Mother's Day.  Mother's Day 2008 - I didn't feel the overwhelming loss and I didn't mourn the holiday.  Same was the same in 2009.  Even after 2 losses, I didn't feel like that.

Mother's Day 2010 - 1 week post losing Bailey.  Mother's Day was terrible last year.  My heart and arms ached so bad.  I couldn't make it through the day without bawling.  That was the "first" of the "firsts" in regards to holidays.

And now, Mother's Day 2011 - A bittersweet day, because I still mourn the precious little girl who we lost a year ago, but am feeling so blessed to have our second little girl growing happy and safe inside of me.  What is, is that I will always be the mother of one little girl who didn't get to stay with us, and a mother to our future children.

I hope for all of the mothers out there, especially those who have lost a child, that today is peaceful on them.