What is a "Rainbow Baby"?
"Rainbow Baby" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
I found out that Bailey is going to be a big sister on January 25, 2010. I tested first thing that morning, knowing that it was possibly too early to test. I waited, and waited, and waited. I used a digital test and watched it flash for a little while. Sat it down, finished my business, looked at it again. Still an hourglass. Went and washed my hands and went back to look...still an hourglass. Went and weighed myself and went back...still an hourglass. After what seemed like the LONGEST 3 minutes of my life, it popped up "Pregnant" and for once in 9 months, there wasn't a "NOT" in front of it! I screamed and yelled "HONEY!" and Adam barreled out of bed and came running in the bathroom. All I could say is "look, look, LOOK!" He couldn't see anything since he had just woken up, but he got the picture. Next on my agenda? Cry....cry because I was happy, cry because I was scared, cry because I didn't know what else to do?
I went for bloodwork that morning and my levels came back at 26.22...barely even enough to register on a HPT. On January 27, they came back at 104.5. (FYI: I took my second digital that morning and it blinked about 5 times and that beautiful word popped up). A week later on February 3, they came back at 1936. My RE's office was thrilled with my numbers. First ultrasound was scheduled for February 14th.
On February 4th, I started spotting brown. First "bit" was after a bowel movement. (I used "bit" very broadly here, because it wasn't just a bit...it was a lot). But, it was always brown. February 5th comes pink that evening and major meltdown for me. Goes back to brown immediately. February 8th come more pink and a phone call to the RE's office. My wonderful nurse asked me if she could be honest with me. I told her after 3 years, she could be as honest as she needed. Her response "Take a chill pill and relax, because you are fine". So I tried to relax.
February 14th - Valentine's Day. We got to see and hear the most beautiful thing in the world...our Rainbow's heartbeat! CB's heartbeat was in the 130's (quite a bit lower than Bailey's as her first heartbeat we heard was 177) but my RE was pleased with it. And we got our first picture.
He or she looks like a little bit of fuzz right now, but I know what that fuzz will turn into...and I can't wait!
7w4d
8w4d
10w4d
At this point, we were released from my RE's office and sent to my regular Dr. and also to my MFM. My MFM scheduled my cerclage to be done on April 1st, and my regular Dr. was kind enough to do weekly sonograms for us to help us feel a little bit better. She understands the stress and anxiety I am feeling with this being a pregnancy after loss, and she wants me to be as worry free as I can be.
16w4d
At 16w4d, we were at one of my appointments at the MFM's office. They asked if we wanted to know what we are having, and we said YES! The u/s tech told us that if she could get a look, she would tell us...and the result was: It's a GIRL! CB finally has a name...Cameron Bailey!
I failed my 1 hour glucose test the week of June 27th...by 3 points. But, I passed my 3 hour glucose test the week of July 4th!
I'll continue to update here, but, it's not as often since mainly I have been posting regular blog posts. Stay tuned!
