Saturday, October 30, 2010

6 months

Dear favorite little girl of mine,
Where have the past 6 months gone?  I can hardly fathom that it has been a half of a year since we held you in our arms for the first and last time.  It's been half a year since we heard those awful words "I'm sorry...she didn't make it".  There have been lots of tears, lots of heartache, but there are starting to be more smiles and laughter.  Some days, it feels like the last 1/2 a year has been creeping along and other days it feels like it has flown by.

But, baby girl, in half a year, your mommy has grown to be a better person, and I know it's because of you. 

Today, on your 6 month angelversary, I did something I haven't ever done.  I RAN my first 5K (3.1 miles) nonstop on the treadmill at the gym this morning.  I thought of you the entire time.  Every time I wanted to give up, I thought of you, and thought of how I wanted to reach this milestone on a day that is special, and I kept at it.  I know you were cheering me on...I could feel it.  And I know you are proud of me...I can feel that too.  And sweet little girl, mommy is proud of herself for once too. 

I've been working hard to keep the promise I made to you.  I'm still working on my weight loss and working on getting into shape so I can be an active, fun mom.  Running that 5K this morning shows some of my hard work.  The 61 pounds I have lost shows the other part of it.  I'm trying so hard to live my life better so your siblings can have a better mommy...and it's all because of you.

I love you so much my precious little girl and I miss you so much. 

Loving you always,
Mommy

11 comments:

Angela said...

So proud of you Danae, and I know Bailey is too. Thinking of you today.

Yvonne said...

Danae, this is a great way to honor the life of your baby girl. I love this, I may do this to honor my little girl as well. Keep up the good work, I am sure she is smiling and so proud of her mommy!

Jennifer said...

Danae, you do Bailey proud. I love what you wrote: "I'm trying so hard to live my life better so your siblings can have a better mommy...and it's all because of you." I think this is what all of us moms with lost children strive to do everyday of our lives in honor of our precious little ones and for the sake of their future siblings. It's a testament that their short lives have changed us for the better.

Here's to remembering Bailey with you on her 6-month angelversary. May her memory fill you with so much love and strength today. <3

Lucid Anne said...

I am so proud of you Danae! <3 And you and Bailey are in my thoughts today. xoxo.

Jessica said...

Way to go Danae! Thinking of you and Bailey! <3

butterflymom said...

Awesome work, Danae. Bailey has got to be so proud of her momma...I sure am. And you're totally right...you are a better person because of her because you learned from her. Love to you, hun. ((hugs))

Dana said...

I know that Bailey is so proud of you, as am I. It is amazing how our babies can change every area of our lives when they were only here for such a short time.

Sending you lots of love.

Rhiannon said...

I am so proud of you for all that you have accomplished...and I know Bailey is so proud of her Mama. You are an amazing woman! I feel the same way, I want to be a better person and it is all because of Harper. That just shows how much those little ones really did touch our lives and continue to daily. Thinking of you and Bailey and sending lots of love your way!

In My Heart said...

Happy 6 Month Angelversary, Sweet Bailey.

HUGS~
Jill

Violet1122 said...

Wow! I am so proud of you Danae - and there is no doubt that Bailey is super proud of you too! I like to imagine you running with all your heart and that she was there cheering you on and giving you that extra bit of encouragement when you needed it most.

((Big Hugs))

Drew's Parents said...

What a sweet letter to Bailey on her angelversary. She must be so proud of you. It is so wonderful that you have been able to keep your promise to her. Congratulations on your weight loss and your run! That is so exciting. Thinking of you always <3