I was in the shower, having a pity party for myself the other morning, and having a "Why Me?" day. I was thinking of accomplishments and things I have done in my short 27 years.
I was a straight A student all the way through high school. I graduated as one of four valedictorians (probably spelled wrong) in my graduating class.
I have been part of the employed people since turning 16. I worked full time during high school and college. I even worked 2 jobs after getting married, just for extra income to put back for savings.
I was the first grandchild on my dad's side to go to college, and graduate.
I am married to a fantastic and wonderful man, who I love with all my heart and soul.
I have a good job that I enjoy on most days.
I have friends who care about me and are there for me.
But, why can't I be a mom? Why can't I have a baby who gets to live and gets to stay with me? Why? Why has this journey been soooooo incredibly long and soooooo incredibly painful? Why does something that should be so easy, have to be so hard? And why does it happen to good people? I'm not perfect, and I know that, and I know no one is, but all of you I have met on this journey are so special in your own way, and each of your stories have touched my heart, and I always wonder, why us?
Just was having one of those days. Thank goodness today wasn't it, but I wasn't in a place I could write this when I was feeling it.
Pity party, party of one, has taken place and is over. Sorry to be Debbie Downer tonight.