Dear sweet girl,
Today is your first birthday. Mommy and daddy miss you so much. I can't believe it's been an entire year already. A WHOLE year. I still remember this day, last year, like it was just yesterday. I couldn't believe that at 23 weeks, we already had to meet you. I remember the freshness of the pain when your daddy had to come in and tell me the worst news I had ever heard...that we had to let you go and that you were gone. I remember what it felt like to hold you in my arms the very first time. I remember the kindness and love everyone showed us while we sat in a room on the NICU floor, with you gone. I remember the tears in the eyes and sorrow in the voices. It's so clear.
Today is the last "first". We have made it through the year of "firsts" without you. First Mother's Day, Father's Day, our birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and now your first birthday. I wish I had a big party to plan, and was getting you a huge cake for you to absolutely destroy. But, instead, we are going to go put new flowers out on your grave, and we will have a cake, just for you.
You are loved and missed sweet girl. I hope that you are having the biggest party in Heaven today. I hope all of your friends are there with you and I hope you all are having cake and ice cream and making messes!
We went yesterday to pick out your memorial stone for your grave, but I know you know that. That's the last thing we needed to do for you, and we wanted to do it around your first birthday. So, we went and found a stone for you, but they are going to have to custom make the size we want, and we hope they can do it.
We miss you and we love you. Be with us today as it's going to be a hard day without you. Send mommy, daddy, and your little sister some special kisses.