The last time I posted, I found out I was pregnant, and was praying for a sticky baby. And stick she sure did! This pregnancy came with some scares, but everything always ended up being okay. I had cramps at 5 weeks, spotting at 6 weeks, but both times everything looked good! I had unexplained bleeding at 9 weeks, but again, she was moving and kicking and everything looked good! She had great heartrates and every appointment, everything was always fine!
On April 2, 2010, we found out that this baby I was carrying was a girl! We were so excited! We took my parents with us to the ultrasound, and they got to see our little Bailey! Everyone was so excited! With finding out our little one was a girl, we gave her the name Bailey Danae.
Then everything came crashing down early one morning...On April 30, 2010 @ 12:30 a.m., I woke up with cramps. I honestly thought I was having gas. After passing some gas with no relief, I woke Adam @ 1:00 a.m., and told him I was cramping. He immediately got up because we were going to go the ER. Before we left, I decided to go the bathroom. At that point, I saw that I was bleeding. My heart sank and stomach fell. I knew 2nd trimester bleeding was not good.
The hospital is about 30 minutes away...we made it in 20. On the way to the hospital, I figured out that the cramps I was having was actually contractions. They were coming about 5 minutes apart.
When we arrived at the hospital and checked in, we were immediately rushed to Labor & Delivery. The nurses got me in a bed and checked me. They found I was already dilated, but didn't know how far, so they called the on-call Dr. who is part of my Dr.'s medical group. Dr. Waterman was there shortly after 2. She checked me, and found I was completely dilated and my water bag was bulging. They had already tipped me head-down, feet up so my water bag would stay in. At this point, Dr. Waterman told us that we would have to deliver, she just didn't know if we could do a vaginal delivery or if we would have to do a c-section. After doing an ultrasound, they found Bailey to be traverse (side-to-side) so an emergency c-section was all we could do. They asked me how aggressive we wanted to be, because Bailey's chances of survival were only 5-10 percent. I told them whatever it took.
By 3:00, we were in the operating room, and getting prepared to go. I had a spinal block done, and Adam came in, and was with me, and our precious baby girl Bailey Danae Southerland was born at 3:33 a.m. on April 30, 2010. She weighed 1 pound 4.8 ounces and was 12 inches long. Adam could see her, and he could see the monitors, and he told me she was breathing, so we had some hope. While they finished up with me, they took Adam back to the room where I would be staying. I was done with my c-section around 4:15 a.m. They took me to my room. When I reached my room, Adam was there, but shortly after, he was gone. A nurse had come to get him to take him to the NICU.
At the NICU, the Dr. tending to Bailey told Adam she wasn't responding to any medication or any assistance they were giving her. Adam had to make the decision to take her off of the ventilator, and since it wasn't helping, he did. I imagine this will probably be the hardest decision he will ever have had to make. After taking Bailey off of the ventilator, she was gone. She left this beautiful earth to become an angel at 4:27 a.m. on April 30, 2010. She was with us for about an hour.
Adam had to come and tell me (and our parents) the most devastating news I have ever heard in my life. My daughter, my first born, my pride and joy, and a piece of my heart, was gone. I was absolutely crushed.
The NICU team prepared Bailey, and brought her into my room around 5:30 a.m. We got to hold her, take pictures of her, and be with her. She was the most beautiful baby in the entire world. She was tiny, precious, and beautiful, and she is ours. She had my lips, and her daddy's nose.
Services for Bailey were on May 4, 2010. She is forever laid to rest at the foot of my grandmother's grave.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
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