2013 - A Year End Review

What a crazy year 2013 has been!  The year started out just as any other year...a year of plans and resolutions.  While some resolutions were kept, our plans definitely had a mind of their own!  So, what did 2013 look like for us?

We started the year off with heartache in February with the passing of my Mamaw.  Words can't even express how much I miss that woman.  This picture is one of the few I have of her and Cameron and was taken a month before she passed.  Kids, grandkids, and great-grands were this woman's world (that and her little girl, Lucy...the Yorkie Adam and I got for her when we got Desmond).  I just wish Cameron and Evyn got to grow up knowing her.

In April, we received a huge surprise!  We found out we were pregnant...without any medical intervention!  We never in a million years would have thought that getting pregnant without doctors, tests, medication, and planned everything would happen for us...but, Surprise, it did!

In May, we announced to our families and made it "Facebook Official".

In July, the cake revealed what Baby E was going to be!  Adam's going to be living with a houseful of girls!

In September, Cameron turned 2!  How is it that she's already 2?

And finally, in December, we welcomed the final addition to our little family, Evyn!

Operation-Pay-Crap-Off has been a HUGE part of this year, and will remain a HUGE part of the upcoming year.  This year, we also managed to pay off a LOT of our debt, with the main chunk of it being credit card debt.  We started off the year with 5 credit cards and over the course of 2013, we have gotten it down to one card that will be paid off in either January or February.  Since starting OPCO on October 15, 2012, we have paid off a little over $40,000 in debt.  Still makes me wonder where our money went prior to OPCO...really does.

I look forward to what 2014 has in store for us!  Tomorrow, I'll post some resolutions for what I hope to be an awesome and successful 2014!









Introducing Evyn Myka!

After 7 years, 5 pregnancies, the worst heartbreak ever, and the most profound joy and love we could ever experience...our family is now complete.  Always missing one, but remembering her always.

On December 12, 2013 at 11:32 a.m., we welcomed the final addition to our family...a sweet rainbow baby girl, Evyn Myka.  This is her birth story.

Evyn was a scheduled repeat C-section.  Since Bailey was emergency C-section and Cameron was a repeat...that meant Evyn also would be arriving in the same fashion.  For my anxiety and sanity, we scheduled for her to be delivered at 37 weeks 2 days.  We also grow big babies here, so an early eviction was fine by us.  Her birthday had been scheduled for probably a couple of months, so it was just a hurry up and wait game.

Our C-section was scheduled for 8:30 a.m., so we had to be at the hospital by 6:30 to check-in and head on up to be prepped.  So, on the morning of the 12th, we got up, got ourselves ready to go, then we got Cameron up and ready, and we left the house for the last time as a little family of three.

We arrived at the hospital and everything went as scheduled...until it was time to go back.  By that time, my parents had arrived and Adam's mom had arrived.  They had taken Cameron out to the waiting room because we didn't expect for it to be long.  However, the surgery in front of us was taking longer than anticipated, so we ended up having to wait.  Another family came in for a scheduled 9:30 C-section and was able to go to the open operating room, because they were using a different doctor.  Once my Dr. was finished with the procedure ahead of ours, we had to wait for an operating room to be prepped so we could go.

FINALLY (after what seemed like ages), it was go time!  They took me in a wheelchair and we headed back.  We rolled in through the operating room doors at 11:05 a.m.  The anesthesiologist (who was AMAZING) came in and placed my spinal and the party started. 

Side note:  The anesthesiologist who we had this time (different than with Bailey and Cameron, who was the same) came in and introduced himself before the procedure (like normal).  What I was very impressed with is that he had reviewed my prior C-section notes and the first thing he asked me was "I see you had a LOT of meds last time...what happened?".  I explained to him that I felt more than I think I should have felt and was in pain when we delivered Cameron.  I told him I hung in there until I knew Cameron was out safe and sound and then they had to knock me out because they had maxed me out on the meds they were giving me.  I also explained that I felt more during my cerclage placement in July.  He told me his goal was to make sure this last C-section was the best experience  that I could have, so I could finish on a good note.  :)  He succeeded and I am so thankful.  I think he had to place either 2 or place a 2nd time (not really sure which), but the first time he was placing, I kept feeling pressure in my left hip, then he stuck me again, and that was that.  He explained everything to me as we were going through the process.  I told him I got super nauseated with both Bailey and Cameron's C-sections, so he watched that closely.  He explained to me that my nausea is directly related to a significant drop in my blood pressure.  Every time it dropped, I started feeling bad.  As soon as my blood pressure would start going back up, I would be fine.

Once the procedure started, my doctor, the anesthesiologist, the staff, and us were all chatting.  We talked about the weather, No-Shave November being over, what razors are the best, Christmas plans - all sorts of stuff.

And at 11:32 a.m., we heard the best noise ever...a cry.  Evyn was finally here!  With very little hair (compared to her sister...VERY little) and a loud set of lungs, she was finally here!  Weighing in at 9 pounds 2 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long, Evyn Myka Southerland joined the outside world and completed our little family.  Daddy went and helped and took pictures while they finished up with me.  Again, the small talk conversations continued, but I was awake and coherent throughout the entire procedure.  Painless and easy.

While my doctor was in there, she did tie my tubes.  This baby-making factory is closed.  We had already talked long and hard about this, and we had decided that should we decide we want more kids, we will go ahead and restart the adoption process and will add on to our family in that manner.

But, for now, our family of 4 is wonderful.

One More Week!

One week to go!  I'm sooooo ready!  My arms, wrists, and hands have started aching again pretty badly, which is making it hard to sleep at night.  I would rather have a cute little baby keeping me up as opposed to my aching arms!

We are finally packed and ready to go.  I need to pack a few outfits for Evyn and pick out some bows, but other than that, we are ready!  I even went and got my pedicure (high priorities here) on Tuesday, so even my toes are ready to go!

Now, the main concern is this weekend.  We are preparing for winter weather (snow, sleet, ice) here in Oklahoma.  Now, in normal circumstances, that's no concern to me.  However, you add on the fact that we live at the bottom of a huge hill, and I'm 36w2d pregnant...now that does concern me, because most of the time we can't get out of our addition when the weather gets bad, because we own 2 cars.  So, we've been worrying just a bit on the "what do we do if I happen to go into labor?". 

The answer...go buy a big thing of kitty litter to throw down...just in case!  Or, we'll call 911...whichever works best.

People have commented saying "People deliver at home all the time...".  Yeah...if you've ever met my husband...HA!  And I have 2-3 stitches keeping my cervix closed, and I think that might hurt just a smidge!

I'm counting down the last few days of work and am so excited and can't wait until she gets here!

One more week...one more week...one more week....I can do this.

18 Days & Counting

The countdown is on, and has been for a couple of weeks now.  Part of me feels as if I shouldn't be counting down the last days, as these will be the last 18 days that I will ever be pregnant.  The other part of me is ready.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I just don't make a good pregnant person.  As being a woman and mother who lives with the constant fear of losing a baby, because I've already been there once...the fear sometimes consumes me.  The worry consumes me.  This pregnancy has been emotionally by far easier than my pregnancy with Cameron.  This pregnancy has however been physically by far a lot harder than my pregnancy with Cameron.

We still don't have a picture outfit.  We still haven't even packed our bags.  I have grumped at friends for not having their bags packed (or at least a list made) by this point.  And what I have done?  None of the above.  I haven't even made a list of things to pack to go to Granny and Papa's for Cameron.  I REALLY should get on the ball.

Holidays are approaching fast and furious...and in a frenzy, I am trying to get everything done with our Christmas shopping by the end of November.  And it just doesn't look all that promising. 

Nesting has FINALLY kicked in, and I think it's driving Adam nuts...he's not the only one though, because it's about to drive me nuts too.  I hate cleaning....HATE it.  And yet, I feel like nothing can be clean enough right now. 

I'm also a little stressed about this whole breastfeeding business this time around.  We didn't do it with Cameron.  She's formula fed, and I'm perfectly fine with that.  In fact, that was my choice.  However, for expense purposes, we are going to try to breastfeed/pump & bottle feed Evyn this time around.  We were supposed to go to a class last week and this week (2 nights - 2 1/2 hours each night).  When we couldn't find the place last Tuesday, we called and found out they have a new facility now AND the class was canceled.  When I inquired about doing a make-up since we are delivering prior to the December class, I was told the price of the class is going to be double, and is going to be on a Saturday or Sunday.  I'm having a REALLY hard time with it being double, so I think I am just going to enlist the help of my mama friends who have done this and the hospital, and we're going to roll with it. 

18 days though...18 days until we get to meet this sweet little girl.  And I. CAN'T. WAIT!

One Month til Go Time!

Our repeat C-section has been scheduled for December 12th for a while now.  I'll be 37w2d.  We delivered Cameron at 37 weeks due to my high anxiety, and we have decided to deliver Evyn around the same time.

Part of the preparation of delivering at 37 weeks with Cameron was to do betamethasone (steroid) shots to help better prepare her lungs.  We decided to do the same again this time with Evyn too. 

Luckily, we haven't been to triage any during this pregnancy...knock on wood!  By this time with Cameron, I can't tell you how many times we had been...it was a lot though.  However, to get my steroid shots, I had to go to L&D to receive them.  My MFM told us not to do them earlier than 32 weeks and no later than 34.  So, I opted to do them at the end of last week, which put me between 32 & 33 weeks.  My regular Dr. submitted the order on Monday at my appointment and I went for my first shot on Thursday evening after work.  They came back and got me rather quickly and took me back to triage, and sat me in a room with a recliner.  I didn't make myself comfortable, because I honestly thought I would be in and out...it's just a shot, right?

An HOUR later, they finally came and got me to administer the shot.  The nurse proceeds to interrogate me about why we are doing the shot.  Honestly, what does it matter to her?  I answered all the questions, even though I really didn't have to.  She takes me to another room and tells me I am going to lay on the bed.  That confused me...why do I need to lay on the bed for a shot that is going into my butt?  I did it though...she said it was because it made it easier to administer the shot.  I could tell no difference.  Seriously.

On Friday, I went back (since the 2nd shot has to be 24 hours later).  I wait in the waiting room for someone to come and get me, and a nurse comes back there and the first thing she says is "Let me explain how this works".  I just sat there and waited for her to "explain" to me how it worked.  She proceeds..."Since you got your last shot on the 4th".  I interrupted and told her that I had just gotten it the night before.  She proceeds to argue with me!  I can't stand this nurse anyways...she's the same one who used to give us a hard time about doing NSTs with Cameron so early because she was lazy baby!  I was soooooo annoyed!  I told her it took an hour the night before and she told me it would probably take just as long that night.  And it did.  But, I got the shot, and the nurse who actually gave the shot was super nice.  She asked a few questions, and agreed that we just want to do whatever we need to make sure the babies get her safe and sound!

It was an overall frustrating experience, but at least we have that part done. 

We now have the nursery most of the way done.  The crib and changing table/dresser have been in there for a while and set up.  I just needed to clean the room because it's been a junk room for the last 4 years.  I'm finally almost done!  I made the letters for her wall (which I think turned out great!) and they are hung.  All of her clothes are washed and ready to go.  We have to get the swing and car seat down from the attic and wash all the covers on it, but we are slowly, but surely getting there!

 

 I feel ginormous, but here's a belly pic from 31w2d (almost 2 weeks ago)...

 



But, we are in the home stretch and getting there.  I still have Christmas shopping I have to do, and would like to be done by the end of the month, but I don't know that it's happening...but, I am sure going to try.  We also have a breastfeeding class starting next week (2 nights)...we also still have to pack bags...so much to do and so little time!

Ouchies

Forgive me...I'm going to whine for just a bit...I started this post last week, and got sleepy and didn't finish it. 

We had decided early on that this pregnancy would be our last as long as everything ends the way it should.  The further we progress into pregnancy, the more sure I am every day. 

Evyn is doing great (other than being on the chunky side...just like her sister was!).  But, 3 pregnancies in 3 years has taken a toll on this poor body of mine. 

Most days I struggle to walk.  It's a physical, debilitating pain.  I seriously look like I am about 95 years old when I get up and start walking.  My Dr. thinks I may have a slipped pelvic bone, which could be fixed with physical therapy...but with as big as Evyn is, she suspects it would happen again before delivery. 

A week after that REALLY started bothering me so much...my left wrist, hand, and sometimes full arm started hurting.  My Dr. thinks it's pregnancy induced carpal tunnel.  Let me tell you how much fun it is...IT'S NOT!  It HURTS!  Once my arm started hurting, my pelvic bone started feeling better.  Since Friday though, I've had relatively no pain in my wrist or arm, which has been great!  However, it seems as if I can't be pain free at all...because the pain in my pelvic bone...yeah, it's back...and full force.  But, I'll be honest...I would rather it hurt than my wrist and arm.  At least when my pelvic bones hurt, once I move for a little while, it gets better.  The wrist and arm...there's not relief when it hurts.

I'm cherishing every moment of this pregnancy as it is going to be my last...but, I wish I could do it without all the pain...But, I guess isn't the saying "no pain, no gain?". 

This too shall pass...I just may whine throughout it.  :)

Almost to 30!

Tuesday will be 30 weeks!  Hooray!

Can I tell you how exhausted I am?  Evyn is big (just like Cameron was) and this belly is wearing me out!  Well, the belly, lack of sleep, and a VERY active 2 year old!

We saw our high risk doctor on Friday and found out that Evyn is measuring about 2 weeks ahead...we kind of knew that because my Dr's office did regular measurements at my appointment last Monday, and she told me that my belly was measuring 32 weeks.

Yeesh...we just like to grow them big!

Really though...I am flat exhausted.  I just don't seem to get enough sleep at night (due to uncomfortableness, thirst, and then needing to take a potty break about every 2 hours).  The plus is that I am still able to sleep in bed.  I was already sleeping on the couch (and had been for weeks) by this point when I was pregnant with Cameron.  The goal is to actually make it to the end in bed...that's the goal.

Not much else to report this way.  I do plan to take a 30 week picture on Tuesday, and that will get posted at some point.  I haven't been taking as many preggo pics this time around.  Partly because I'm bigger this time around (weight wise)...not sure why.

Bedtime has approached for this momma!  Cameron was on nap strike today which meant no rest for anyone else around here!

Cameron Turns Two!

A couple of weeks late...but, I've never posted anything in a timely manner...:)

How is it that Cameron is TWO?  Wasn't it just yesterday that she was this big?

 

Two years later....this is the beautiful little girl she has become!

 

Photo by Payton.Inspires.Me Photography

Brown hair, piercing blue eyes, and all the sass in the world!  And she LOVES Minnie Mouse!  So, since she LOVES Minnie so much, we decided to go with a Minnie Mouse themed birthday party this year!  It was a hit!

Minnie Mouse Cake by Crest...note to self...no black icing on future cakes!

She was having NONE of this blowing out the candle business....

But, eating cake is okay!  :)

 

And here are some of my favorites from her Two Year photo shoot earlier that morning.  All photos are by Payton.Inspires.Me Photography!  Can't wait to have them printed and framed!

 

Happy Two Years to my sweet rainbow after the storm!  She's just the best!

Twenty-Four!

HUGE milestone, in my eyes to get to this point.  Do I know that things can happen and do happen later...well, of course I do.  But making it to twenty-four weeks, and hearing that term "Viability"...it gives me a little peace.

Last week was hard.  Bailey was born at 23 weeks on the dot.  So, hitting that milestone is an important one for us.  And Evyn didn't make it easy...she decided to take last week and go on a little break from being her normal wiggly self.  I think she was facing my back, so I couldn't really feel anything...but, oh man...it drove mommy nuts!  She got right back to normal on Friday and has been doing a pretty good job at keeping mommy sane since then!

I'm feeling pretty good...I don't know how many times I can say it...but I am SOOOOO ready for December!  We have officially set our C-section date for December 12th.  I think my Dr's hospital day is really supposed to change to Fridays by then, but she said she would do it on Thursday...there's just something about delivering on Friday the 13th that freaks me out.  I'm not really a superstitious kind of person, but let's not press our luck here, okay?!  :)

I'm battling allergies or maybe even a cold right now.  It's brutal.  I don't like how medicine makes me feel anyways when I can't breathe.  Add on not being able to breathe well from pregnancy, and you've got one miserable momma right now.  Then, tack on having to train a 2 day class for the next 2 days...oy. 

Cameron now says "sister" and every night she wants to tell sister night night.  It's so cute, and it warms my heart!  I just hope that she loves sister as much in December when she's no longer the only one getting attention!

In other Cameron news...my baby is turning 2 on Sunday!  How can that be?  I just can't believe that my baby girl is going to be two!  She's so much fun and has so much personality!  She's just the best!  And oh my...she is a little chatterbox!  As much as I can't stand the show "Family Guy", I always see the commercial where Stewie is saying "Mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mom" and it goes on and on....yeah....that's Cameron most days now.  Or we hear "Meeeee - Mou!" (which is Minnie Mouse for those of you who don't speak Cameron-ese) or "Jerry!".  No, she's not chanting for Jerry Springer...she LOVES watching Tom and Jerry! 

Here's a picture from Saturday that I took.  She, of course is sporting her OU gear!  And everytime I go to take a picture of her (with my phone or camera), she says "Cheeeeeeeese!".  LOVE her!

21 Weeks and E's Name!

Yesterday marked 21 weeks!  Hooray!  We are less than 2 weeks away from our scary time, less than 3 from viability, and about 16 weeks from delivery!  I am SOOOOO ready for December!

I am definitely looking pregnant, even though I continue to get the "I didn't know you were pregnant!" exclamations!  Mainly from people I haven't seen in a while.  That's okay though...at least I've gotten past the awkward stage of just looking like I've gained weight (which I have....and quite a bit too...). 

Baby E now has a name...which I have received MANY mixed reviews on...but, oh well!

Baby E's name will be Evyn Myka!  Myka was chosen because Adam's gaming name has always been "Myka", but in an effort to make it a little more feminine, we changed the spelling.  We knew we would use an E name for the first name, and with the middle name Myka, there were many things that we did NOT want to use because of how it sounded.  But, Evan stood out to us and is a gender neutral name, so we again decided to change the spelling to make it a little more girly, and that's how we came up with Evyn!

Cameron is officially in a big girl bed.  She has a full size bed and a matching dresser for her room.  I have resolved to putting a body pillow at the edge, under the fitted sheet, because on night 2, I do believe she rolled out of bed.  We never heard her cry and didn't realize she was in the floor until I went to get her up the next morning.  This mommy felt REALLY bad!

All of the old "baby" furniture (crib and the matching dresser/changing table) has been moved to Evyn's future room.  Most is set up, but not all.  And it's a mess in there.  I'm cleaning up 4 years of stuff in the dedicated "junk" room that will become her room.  And for the last 2 years, it's been the collecting room of ALL of Cameron's clothes that I have kept, just in case we need them again.  Problem is now that Cameron's clothes (most of them) will not work because Cameron was a late summer/early fall baby, and Evyn will be a winter baby.  So, I am working to organize and get ready for our local "Just Between Friends" consignment sale to try to earn a little bit of cash and get a new wardrobe for Evyn.

Other than that, we're just staying busy and trying to pass the days and months til it's time to meet this little girl!  We can't wait!

He or She? What is Baby E?!

First off...let me say I know I suck.  I've known what Baby E is for the last 2 weeks and still hadn't posted it here.  Not that there are many readers out there, but I still should be diligent about keeping up with things.  I apologize to those of you who do read.  :)

So, here goes...

After having an unscheduled Dr.'s appointment on Wednesday the 17th, and the tech being able to find out what Baby E is...I couldn't wait...I moved our gender reveal party up to the 20th instead of the 27th!  I know not as many people could make it because of the last minute notice, but it was still nice...for a thrown together event!

I found the cake that I wanted to order online, printed a picture, and took it to a local grocery store bakery.  I didn't want to go to a specialty cake place and spend well over $100 for a cake, so I took it there, just hoping they could actually do this cake...and they could!

Up until that day (and on that day), I polled my Facebook friends and also those who came on what they thought Baby E would be. 

The votes (including the board) were...36 votes for boy and 22 votes for girl!  Adam's mom put "one of each" in the middle, because he broke the rules and told her before the party.

 

And to clarify...Adam was supposed to be the only person who knew.  I did NOT know what Baby E was until we cut into the cake!  The only way I could get Adam to agree to letting me have a gender reveal party was for him to get to find out before.

So, on the day of the party, we picked up our cake....

 

 

 

We cut into it...

 

 

 

Sooooo...He/She...What did we see? 

 

 

 

It's a......

 

 

GIRL!!!

 

It's hard to see in the picture, but the color for the gender is in between the cake layers.  And it was most definitely pink!

 

I was SHOCKED to say the least.  I just KNEW that Baby E was a boy.  Just KNEW it.  And I have to say that Adam played it all off very well.  When we found out that Bailey and Cameron both were girls, he grinned from ear to ear ALL day long.  When he looked in the envelope for Baby E, he looked at it, said "Yup" and then folded the paper back up and put it back in the envelope.  No emotion whatsoever.  He also kept telling me that his co-worker had peeked in the envelope (because he took it to work to prevent me from peeking) and then made comments about the comment his co-worker had posted in his vote on Facebook (which was boy).  I was so mad that I was finding out before because his co-worker knew.  They both played me...which I should have known would happen.  I just looked at Adam and said "Well played, sir!" and he said "Thank you!".  Turns out, he had already told everyone he worked with.  Such a fathead.

 

We are excited to be having another girl!  I have to admit that I still think I'm a little bit in denial and that I half expect for my Dr. to tell us something differently at our appointment tomorrow, but I doubt that is the case. 

 

This will definitely be the house of girls!  Only exception will be Adam and Desmond (our dog)!





 

Better? and Upcoming Reveal!

Just a quick update after my "Hot Mess" post. 

I'm completely better...have some other issues going on, but nothing serious. 

Adam is also doing better for the time being.  He had a colonoscopy done (thanks to some friends and family of friends who were able to get him in to have it done in less than 24 hours!) and they found nothing wrong up in there.  They put him on another antibiotic to hopefully get rid of this for good.  So far, it's working, however, what I don't know if it is REALLY fixing the issue or just masking it like what happened last time.  He finishes his antibiotics on Sunday, so by mid-week next week, I assume we will know.

Tomorrow, we are having our gender reveal party!  I had to go to MFM's office on Wednesday for the above issues, and they were able to get the gender!  So, instead of doing reveal next weekend, we are doing it this weekend.  At this point in time as I write, Adam is the only person who knows what Baby E is!

I took a poll on Facebook last night from friends and family, and so far 23 people think that baby is a boy and 15 think E is a girl!  If you aren't friends with me on Facebook, what do you think Baby E is?  I'll post tomorrow or Sunday once we know for sure!

Hot Mess

Let me just say...We're just a hot mess over here. 

Adam has been sick (I won't go into the gory details) for almost 3 weeks and his doctor can't figure out what's wrong with him.  I was sick yesterday and today, but mine has been figured out.

Two poopy parents and a toddler = exhaustion. 

Thank goodness for parents!  My parents watched Cameron on Saturday while I had my cerclage done.  Adam's mom came to the rescue and came to the house yesterday morning when I got bad, and then took Cameron home with her once C woke up.  Grandpa was home yesterday, so they went back to their house and then went to church.  Cameron had a blast!

It's been decided that I'm having a reaction to the Z-Pack I was put on post-cerclage.  So, I am to stop taking it today and won't be picking up another antibiotic. 

Adam's started as what his doctor thought was food poisoning.  After a strong dose antibiotic, Adam was feeling better.  About 3 days after stopping his antibiotic, he was sick again.  Poor guy has lost over 15 pounds and has been on pretty much a liquid diet since Wednesday.  He went back to the doctor today and they are running a bunch of tests and then probably going to send him to a GI doctor.  Hopefully they can figure out soon what is wrong with him.

In the meantime though...our grocery bill has been relatively cheap with him being on a G2 diet.  He did eat some Ramen Noodles yesterday.  $2.28 for a 12 pack box...Adam's not the soup eater of any type.  He doesn't do soup or cereal...anything that is liquidy.  He ate the Ramen Noodles and even said it was good...I know he's hungry if he's saying that!

Like I said...hot mess here.  Hopefully we start to get on the mend soon.

Cerclage is In

Today was cerclage day and everything went according to plan.  We got to the hospital right at 8:00 this morning and got checked in.  Our nurse took us immediately to the room we were going to be in and got right to work. 

This time was different than last time because it didn't take 5 times to get my iv in.  And let me tell you, that made me very happy.  The nurse did ask me if I was right or left handed and when I said "right", she said she was going to check that hand because it's usually better to go with the dominant hand.  Knowing my crazy veins, I told her the left was best and showed her my good iv sticking spot.  She went with it and got it right off the bat.  Hurt like a son-of-a-you-know-what, but at least it didn't take 5 times! 

After all paperwork and everything was done, the anesthesiologist came in and explained his piece and then said we weren't scheduled until 10:00 (it was about 9:00 at that time) and that he would see me in an hour.  About 5 minutes later, another nurse came in and said we ready to go and we were going early!

I was rolled back to the OR and we got started at 9:12 and was done and back in the room at about 9:45.  My left leg was more numb than the right leg through the whole procedure.  I felt some pain during the procedure, but nothing unbearable.  Once back to the room, I told the nurse I was hurting and she immediately gave me some pain meds through my iv.  OH BOY...that stuff worked fast and it was freaking weird!  As soon as it first started working, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.  And I felt nauseated.  So, I told the nurse that too, and she gave me some Zofran.  After that, I think I was in and out of consciousness.

The rest of the morning and afternoon was par for the course.  I had some lunch and waited on the feeling to come back in my lower half.  My nurse did try to get me up to go to the bathroom around noon....WAY to early.  I stood up and I felt like I was going to fall on my face. 

I finally was able to get up and go to the bathroom around 4:30'ish and we were discharged a little bit after 5. 

Everything is well, both stitches are in.  I'm just a little tired and at this time...still a little numb.  I'm just glad this one is done and behind me.  Just need to make through the next 23 weeks with no incident!

Oh, and the more exciting thing of today....we found out we are going to go back for a follow-up with ultrasound in about 2 weeks...which means we shouldn't have to wait until August to find out what Baby E is!  That is exciting!  I can't wait!

Slightly Frustrated

Tomorrow is "supposed" to be my cerclage.  I say "supposed to be" because I haven't heard a thing from either the hospital or my MFM's office regarding it.  Last time, the hospital called and told me "nothing to eat or drink after whatever time".  They also told me to be there at 5:00 a.m. to check in on the 6th floor.

I got that basic information from my MFM's office when the appointment was scheduled almost a month ago.  Lucky them that I remember crap like that and I still have the card with all of the information on it (check in at 8:00 - 6th floor)...but, I mean really?  Nothing?

I'm really expecting to get there tomorrow and for someone to say "We don't show you are scheduled for anything today".  And I'm really afraid that I might flip my stuff on them if that happens...

I REALLY hope we get there tomorrow and I am wrong.  I hope all is right, all is scheduled, and everything goes according to plan.  And if it's not...I feel really sorry for whoever has to deal with this pregnant, hormonal mess of human being who would also be known as me.

First Trimester Wrap-Up

This past week has been a big one...well, eventful...lots going on to keep me busy at work, Dr.'s appointment, and a trimester changer. 

Well, God willing, this is the last time I say goodbye to the first trimester.  As I've said before...as long as Baby E comes home with us as we intend, this is it for this mommy pregnancy wise. 

I am never really sure when to call the first trimester done.  My Doctor's office says 12 weeks, some of my apps say 13 weeks, and others say 14 weeks.  So, being as I am 13w5d, I am saying it's done!  It really is bittersweet to know this is it.  But, the days of naïve and carefree pregnancy is over...stress and worry is what remains...so, it's for the best.

I took my first belly shot with Cameron when I hit 14 weeks...I don't know that I am going to do that this time...I think right now that I just look like I've gained weight in my mid-section!  So, I guess we'll see how "good" I feel about how the belly looks on Tuesday when I hit 14 weeks officially.

My cerclage is in less than a week and it can't come soon enough!  I'm so ready for it and to feel a little bit "safer".  Of course, safe to me won't be until we are leaving the hospital with a little chunky girl or boy in the carseat.  But...it will help me breathe a little bit easier until then.

We took Cameron to my Dr.'s appointment this past week...she was a BEAR!  And she was NOT impressed.  Poor girl immediately started crying when we started walking back to go to a room.  All we could figure out is that every time we have been to the Dr., it's been for her and she has gotten a shot.  Dr. = Shots & Pain to her...so she wasn't having any of it.  Then she kind of freaked out when they turned the light off to do a quick sono.  They did that instead of trying to chase baby around with the Doppler.  Overall...Cameron was NOT impressed.  However, she did ham it up with everything in the waiting room...she was a BIG hit!  lol!

Also found out this week that my P17 shot is not covered by insurance.  So far, my insurance hasn't covered my 1st trimester progesterone that I took up until week 10 and they aren't going to cover my Hydroxyprogesterone that I have to take for 20 weeks.  FANTASTIC!  I'm just frustrated because both were covered last time.  So, instead of it being $55/vial like it was last time...it's $115/vial.  Not horrible, because it could be worse, but sheesh!  Fortunately, 5 shots come in 1 vial, so altogether, I will be paying $460.  That's still a lot of money.  But to bring this baby home...it will be priceless.

The Humor of My Day

Since finding out that Baby E is on the way, I've been talking about trying to breastfeed/pump this time around.  Cameron was formula fed, and honestly, I am one of those parents who is perfectly fine with my kid(s) being a formula fed child.  I was formula fed and so was my husband.  I like to think that we are well adjusted, healthy, and intelligent people.  Breastfeeding hasn't been something that has really appealed to me (for my own reasons...I know, breast is best...personal decision), but I know that budget wise, it would help greatly to not have to buy a can of formula every week.  Or multiple cans in the midst of trying to figure out which formula is going to work best for us.

While looking into breast pumps, I cringe at the prices, and ventured to looking on Craigslist.  I know that sounds weird, but I did.  But then, some women on a board I am a part of who all have September 2011 babies, they told me that some insurance companies cover breast pumps.  So, I thought I would look into it. 

While looking online at our insurance provider, I found that ours does indeed cover pumps 100%!  SCORE!  No Craigslist breast pump for this mommy (yes, I was seriously considering buying a lightly used one...don't judge me)!  I couldn't find the info on the providers or what we needed to do to get one, so I gave Adam an assignment...call the insurance company and ask questions.  Now, I know he has plenty of time to complete his assignment, but it absolutely drives me crazy when he waits!  I'm an instant gratification kind of girl...I want results!  You would think I would just start doing things myself, but nope!  :)

So, after 3 days, he FINALLY calls the insurance company.  He asks a few questions and then calls me at work.  He tells me that they confirmed they do cover pumps 100% and they told him that we have to get it from an approved provider (basically a medical supply store), and I have to have a prescription written from my Dr. (which I think is a little on the weird side...).  He however did forget to ask if the 100% coverage is only for a certain amount, certain type, etc.  I also wanted him to ask about breastfeeding supplies, like bags.  Do they cover any of that stuff?

So, he calls back.  When he calls the insurance company back, he gets another woman.  As he is asking the questions I've given him, the woman tells him "now, we only cover these for women"...No, really?!  We hadn't thought of that!  LOL!  He didn't know what to say to that...my response probably would have been some smartass remark (shocker!).  When he told me this I started cracking up laughing!  Like, leaned back in my chair, whole heartedly laughing!  Funniest freaking thing I had heard all day!

I'm telling the girls I work with about this and tell them the comment that the woman said, and someone says "What would Adam do with a breast pump?.........NEVERMIND, I don't want to think about that!".  Again, hilarious! 

So, now I get to talk to my Doctor on Wednesday when I see her and get this prescription written (along with a note for work to send to benefits that says I'm pregnant).  I know I'm not quite 13 weeks, but I would like to at least know what options I have, do my research, and go from there...because let's face it...I know squat about pumps.  Up until about a week ago, I didn't know what the difference between an open and closed system.

Did /Do you pump?  What kind of pump do you have/use?  Do you like it and would you recommend it?

On a side note...I'm getting more of the "I didn't know you're pregnant!" comments.  But, at the same time, the "Wow, you have lost weight and are looking great!" comments have stopped.  Since I'm at this awkward inbetween stage...I wonder how many people right now think I'm just gaining weight...:P  I'm ready to fast forward a few weeks and it actually be noticeable that I'm pregnant and not just adding fluff".

Back in Arkansas

Back in Arkansas again this week for another meeting.  Hoping that tonight and tomorrow do not yield same results as last week.  I need a calm and peaceful evening.  :). So, tonight consisted of some Five Guys for dinner and hanging out in my hotel room watching Titanic on AMC.  I am sooooo exciting, huh?

Post-Surprise Announcement thru 12 weeks

I'm such a horrible blogger anymore.  And I have no excuse why!  Well, maybe it has to be 1st trimester exhaustion and an every moving 21 month old?  Nahhh....that can't be it.  My other blogging friends find time for it!

Well, since I let the cat out of bag...what's been happening?  In no particular order....

Today marks 11w6d, so we have ALMOST made it out of the first trimester...woo hoo!  I made it through my first round of progesterone shots...Adam is soooooo glad to be done with those!  We've seen my MFM twice so far and gotten my cerclage scheduled (more to come on that).  I've traveled out of state and freaked the crap out while I was gone...and probably more!

My first appointment with my MFM on June 7th was an interesting one!  We got there for a 3:40 appointment and was finally called back.  As the nurse took me to get my vitals, my Dr. said "You know what's funny?" and my response was "It feels like you just saw us yesterday"?  He then said something that I didn't quite understand, he repeated himself, and the nurse asked me "Do you blog?".  I said yes, and then my Dr. told me that he had just come across my blog that morning!  He was looking for reviews and searched his name and cerclage, and he came across my post about my cerclage I had with Cameron!  He remembered Bailey's name, he said that as he was going through posts, he was seeing pictures and he was saying "I remember her.  I recognize her husband too!" and then lo and behold, here we come mozying in that afternoon!  The nurse told me "We've been talking about you all day and you didn't even know it!". 

My first ultrasound with his office showed a bouncing baby.  It was too early to do NT scan, but with this scan, Dr. Mirabile took a guess at what Baby E is going to be...he thinks a girl!  Now, my calculations that worked with both Bailey and Cameron says boy...so I'm sticking with it, but even after our NT scan today, we saw a baby with it's legs crossed and I saw NOTHING that indicated a little boy.  Still so early though!

We talked about reviews usually being about the wait time.  Yes, their office wait time is long, but like I told him...as long as he gets me to the end and we get a healthy baby to take home...I don't care how long I have to wait to be seen.  When you go through something like what have, the wait in minor in the grand scheme of it all.

We scheduled my cerclage for July 6th @ 10:00 a.m.  I'll be 14w4d...and I was kind of freaking out (okay, no kind of...I was freaking out after the pains of last week), especially after a physical check of my cervix yielded comments of "closed" (yay!), firm (yay!), but stubby (wtf?!).  Stubby?  STUBBY?  Yikes.

Baby E's profile on 6/7/13 - 10w3d

Fast forward to Tuesday/Wednesday of last week.  I had to go to Rogers/Bentonville, Arkansas for a meeting for work.  It was an overnight trip.  I went with a group and after we got there, we went to dinner.  Ate at an Italian restaurant called Carrabas.  I had chicken fettucine alfredo.  It was delicious when I ate it...at 1:30 a.m. though, I regretted it. 

After tire hell (we had a huge knot on one tire and ended up at Wal-Mart at 8:30 at night to get a new one) and finally getting back to the hotel, I went to bed while watching Nick at Nite (The Nanny).  At 1:30 a.m., I woke up for a dead sleep with the worst pain ever in my stomach.  Praying with all my might, I was praying it was gas...passed a little gas...oh, sweet relief.  Five minutes later though, pain again.  Again passed gas...relief!  Again, five minutes later...more pain.  I was having flashbacks to waking up in the middle of the night in 2010...on April 30th, 2010, thinking it was gas pains, and then realizing on the way to the hospital that I was having contractions.  And here I am, sitting in room 522 of the Holiday Inn about to flip out because:  1.  I'm cramping and hurting.  2.  I'm in freaking Arkansas!  3.  I have no car, because I rode with others.  And I had no idea what I was going to do.  Then I felt it...the gurgling in my belly and the worst urge to throw up I think I've ever had.  I got up, ate a couple of Tums (knowing that one of two things was going to happen...either I would throw up or my stomach would start to settle), sat in the floor of that white tiled bathroom and waited.  Once I finally felt better (belly settled...I didn't throw up...just in case you were wondering...), I went back to bed, and started dozing and then felt another pang...I looked at the clock and had I felt better, I would have done a happy dance had I felt a little better...it had been 20 minutes since the last pain!  It really was gas!  Hooray!  LOL!

But, the Arkansas drama doesn't end there.  I get up and go to my meeting on Wednesday, and about halfway through the meeting, I start hurting...down there.  The best analogy I could come up with to explain it to my Dr's office...it felt like the inside of my nether-regions was a bag of potato chips...and someone REALLY wanted that bag open.  That's what I would equate it to.  And it was not cool.  This prompted a phone call to my Dr.'s office after the meeting was over, and they worked me in on Thursday.  I love their office.  They know I'm a worrying freak and they tolerate it.  They deserve something...something good! 

Thursday's work-in appointment resulted in a cervix check (firm, rock hard, and yes stubby, but she said it could be from all the procedures I've had).  Check for infection, and no infection found.  They did a sono while I was there with their portable machine.  Sono showed a baby using my uterus as it's own personal moon bounce (it looked like a pinball machine going on in there) and a baby playing with it's umbilical cord.  Silly kid.  If this baby is as active once it's bigger as it is now...I won't have to worry about having a lazy baby like Cameron was while in utero.

NT scan today showed low chances for Downs, just waiting on the blood work to come back.  Cerclage is scheduled for July 6th, so now we wait.  I don't go back to the MFM's office until August 5th for another ultrasound...I'll be about 18 weeks (I think...I calculated it earlier, but I forget, and I'm too lazy to recalculate).  Little concerned because we NEVER went that far in between appointments with Cameron.  It's just weird to me.  I'm ready to get stitched up though.  I think that will help alleviate a little of the anxiety. 

Baby E says "I'm looking at YOU!".  6/17/2013 - 11w6d

Thank goodness for Cameron.  She keeps me busy enough most of the time that I don't have time to think about everything going on.  When I can't think about it, I'm okay.  It's those times I have time to think...oh, sheesh.

I'll try to do better to update more often!  I've said that before, huh?  I really will try!

SURPRISE!!!

I've been dying to post this for WEEKS now!  Even though this is more for my benefit, because I don't think there are many who read my not very active blog nowadays, I will probably become more active now that we have some very exciting news to share!

 

 

My caption posted to this photo on Facebook said "Cameron says 'I'm so excited...I'm calling everyone I know to tell them...I'm going to be a BIG sister'!". 

Being someone who has battled infertility for YEARS (we started our journey to start a family in 2006), I honestly didn't know it could be easy!  We were fortunate with Bailey and Cameron to ONLY have to do medications to get pregnant, but seeing an RE, charting everything monthly, planning and timing everything...let's face it...it's not the most fun, and it's exhausting!  That process right there was what was keeping us from deciding to go back to the RE.  Plus, we're right in the middle of Operation Pay Crap Off.

Even at my annual in April, I was asked about birth control (like always) and as always, I declined.  I KNOW my body.  I told them I didn't foresee anything happening as my cycles have been wacky since Cameron's arrival (nothing unusual for me).  One normal cycle, one with a short luteal phase, and then a 4 month long cycle...yup, that's how I roll.  My Dr. even laughed and said "You'd be surprised how many women I see who have so many problems getting pregnant, go through treatments, have a baby, and then spontaneously get pregnant".  I laughed.  In my mind, that would NEVER be us!

Boy, was I wrong!  I won't go into the gory details to spare you, but this cycle started in February.  That's right, February!  But come early April, I knew what was happening.  We've semi-sort of talked about it, gave it one shot, and 11 days later...holy surprise Batman on that pee stick!

I stopped at Wal-Mart one Thursday evening because I had been feeling "off".  Knowing that it was really too early to test, I went ahead and did it that evening, not expecting anything.  And I was right, negative test (I use digital, so there was no guessing).  I wasn't upset, and actually hadn't even told Adam that I had tested.  Just chunked the test and went on. 

That night though...I had the most vivid dream.  I have dreams quite frequently, most of the time, weird ones or ones that scare the crap out of me, but when I wake, I can't remember them.  Vivid dreams typically only happen when I'm pregnant.  This one had me waking to find myself in tears.  I dreamt of my Mamaw.  My Mamaw just passed on February 18th of this year.  One of the most awful days I can recall in my life.  But, on the evening of April 18th, and having this VERY vivid dream made me wonder.  In my dream, I was saying "Say bye-bye to Great Mamaw" but I wasn't saying it to Cameron.  I couldn't see a face.  But, I knew it wasn't Cameron.

After having that dream, I got up on Friday, the 19th, and even though I had gotten that negative test not even 12 hours before, I peed on another one.  Just as with Cameron, I waited, I weighed myself, I washed my hands, I fiddled around for what seemed like the LONGEST 3 minutes ever.  I walked back over getting ready to pick up the test and chunk it in the trash, and saw it..."Pregnant".  All I could say is "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".  I could hear Adam from the bedroom ask "what?" and all my response could be was "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, holy crap".  And then I freaked the crap out. 

It's NEVER been this easy!  We didn't know it could be this easy!  Who'da freaking thunk it?!

I called the Dr's office that morning AS SOON AS they opened and left a message for the nurse.  She called back shrieking and sent me for bloodwork.  I left immediately and went and had it done.  Even though they closed at noon and I expected not to get my results until Monday, they called me back and gave me my results...it was official...33.7 beta.  Only instructions were to start progesterone immediately and go back on Monday for another beta.

Monday the 22nd's beta came back at 182.3...better than I expected!  My Dr.'s office said I didn't have to go back for anymore.  A few days later, I called and asked if I could go back and have the 3rd one done, just for my own sanity.  So on Monday the 29th, I went back and that beta was 3840...again, better than I expected!

We scheduled an early ultrasound so we could make sure we really did have something growing in there.  In the meantime, we didn't tell anyone.  And finally, on May 14th, we got to see our little blueberry!  First ultrasound revealed only one little blueberry growing with a heart rate of 148 bpm, measuring at 7 weeks, and due on December 31st!  I finally felt like I could breathe!

We announced to our families this weekend with Cameron being in the shirt seen in the picture above, and everyone seems excited!  We are ecstatic and anxiously wait for December!  We hope and pray this pregnancy is as easy as it was to make it happen.  So far, that hasn't proven true as I've had many of the same scares that I had with both Bailey and Cameron, but I'm just going to chalk it up to my body is weird.  All I can say is:  I'm SO glad that I blogged while pregnant with Cameron...because the craziness is the same in some regards, it's helping keeping me somewhat sane!  But, here we go again!

Three Years

I know I say this every year, but where does time go?

I CANNOT even believe that it's been three years.  Well, three years and a day to be exact. 

I managed to make it through yesterday without having a nervous breakdown.  We got new flowers put out at the cemetery.  Cameron admired the flowers and the light reflector that we have out there, and kept pointing to them and Bailey's headstone, and kept saying "pretty".  We talked about her sister (as we normally do) and she babbled on (like she normally does). 

We talked about how different this year is.  The past 2 years, we have put flowers out, and then we would go to my Mamaw's house and visit with her.  Last year on Bailey's birthday, we were having her and her headstone moved next to where Mamaw was to be buried.  I never in a million years imagined that a year later, Mamaw would be next to her, and we would be "visiting" her there.

It's just hard to believe, but it's our life.

I felt the overwhelming love from all the facebook messages and texts yesterday.  That's one of my biggest fears...that she'll be forgotten.  And the love we received yesterday told us she hasn't been.

It was a day of love, reflection, and remembrance.

Happy Third Birthday in Heaven, sweet Bailey!  We miss you so much!