Tuesday, August 31, 2010

4 Months

My dear sweet little girl,

Mommy is a day late on writing a letter to you for 4 month angelversary.  I didn't forget my sweet little girl, I've just been busy.  Instead of being busy loving on you and watching all the cute adorable things you should be doing, I've been busy doing things for you.  We planned your due date day, watched it come and go, and mommy has been thinking what I'm going to do with your scrapbook.  I'm still terrified of starting (more like terrified of finishing) it, but I can at least think about the planning stages.

Since last month, we entered into the last month of the "I should be pregnant" stage.  I watched as your due date crept up on us.  It got closer and closer.  We thought of things we were going to do in remembrance of you.  We spent your due date day doing things for you.  I know you spent it with us, because the memory of you is with us no matter where we go.  But, sweet girl, I wish you could be here.

Mommy and Daddy have started the process to try to make you a big sister.  We don't know how that's going yet, and we still don't know if it will happen, but we have hope.  Would you put the bug in God's ear that you need a brother or a sister?

I miss you so much.  It just doesn't seem fair that to be "with" you, we have to go to a cemetery.  But, that's the reality.

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, and will always love you.  I hope you are playing happily with your friends in heaven, and not causing too much mischief.

Loving and missing you always,
Mommy

5 comments:

Drew's Parents said...

What a sweet letter to your precious daughter. I wish Bailey could be in your arms. I can just picture her with all of her angel friends. Thinking that they have each other brings me comfort. <3 My heart is with you, and I am sending you love.

Dana said...

I don't know if these anniversaries get easier or harder. The pain isn't as raw as time goes on, but it is also so hard to be further away from the last time that we held our babies in our arms.

I hope that Bailey's brother or sister makes themself known soon.

I also hate that we have to go to a cemetery (or memorial garden in my case) to be "with" our babies. We should just be walking into their nursery to pick them up and cuddle them. Not staring at the cold hard ground while we talk to them. At least their spirit is with us always.

Thinking of you and praying for your rainbow baby.

Rhiannon said...

That was such a sweet letter to Bailey. I wish all of us had our babies in our arms, it is so unfair. I am still in the "I should be pregnant phase", but this is the last month of that as Harper was due Sept. 30th. I am so sad that this phase is almost over and I will have no baby in my arms.

I love all of the things that you did for Bailey's due date and I know that she did too!

Violet1122 said...

This is such a lovely letter.

I'm praying that Bailey will have a new brother or sister soon. Sending you lots of hugs!

Jennifer said...

Praying that you'll have a rainbow brother/sister for Bailey soon.