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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

To Mom, Love Bailey and Dad

My husband and I have had our different ways of dealing with Christmas.  Me, I'm really not dealing with it this week.  Prior to this week, I dealt with it by spending hours in the gym.  My body revolted last week, so I haven't spent much time in the gym since then.  Him, he took the week off so he could ponder on how to make it as special as possible and how to incorporate Bailey into this holiday that just isn't that great for us this year.  Yesterday, while I was at work, he went shopping and when I got home last night, he told me I HAD to open my gift then, and I HAD to start with the card first.  Here is the card:

I cried...Let's face it...Adam isn't the most sentimental guy in the world, but every now and then, he does something as sweet and loving as this.  He still knows how to get to me.  Him and Bailey got me a necklace that has pink and diamond stones on it.  I have one exactly like it already, but he knew she would like it, and he knew I would like it.  I love it.  But, to end the night, he told me also posted his first personal entry on his blog.  This is what he wrote:

After Thanksgiving both my wife and I began to have sleeping difficulties. After a week or two I came to the conclusion that I was having problems sleeping because I needed to deal with something. That something I believe is the fact that my daughter is no longer here and it’s Christmas.

I’ve been thinking of how and what to do for Christmas since Bailey isn’t here. My wife and I have already decided that we aren’t decorating so we don’t have a tree or any lights outside the house. Something is missing and we don’t know how to fill the void. My first thought was to buy Bailey a toy but there is no logical reason to do so. But then…

This past week I figured out what I can do… If Bailey were here we would go Christmas shopping for Danae and she would pick out something for her. Because she couldn’t make it, I decided to go and pick something out as if she were there to help.

I went to Zales and picked out a nice necklace that has a heart that is part pink as I think Bailey would like pink. After that Bailey needed a card to go with it; after all it is her first Christmas. So we went over to Hallmark and began looking for cards… After looking at several cards and watery eyes I found just the right one.

I spent all of my available money on this one gift so let’s hope I did a good thing for Bailey.

Christmas 2010 is nothing like we planned, but thanks to my loving husband and the love he has for our daughter, it's a little more special now than what it was.


Dana said...

I started crying as soon as I saw the card. It is so touching that Adam did this. I just love that he went shopping as if Bailey was with him. I can just see them walking through a store together, him proudly carrying his baby girl and picking out something for you. I hate that he didn't get to do this the way he should have been able to.

Adam doing this is one of those things that I will always remember. I hope that you can both find some peace over the holidays. They are so tough.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of love.

Violet1122 said...

Oh Danae. This just made me cry - the card, the gift, what your husband did for you - it's all so lovely!

I hope you find some joy and peace this holiday season. I have no doubt Bailey is very near to you and your husband.

((Big Hugs))

Allison said...

I have tears in my eyes...Our spouses don't always show how the loss affects them but when they do, it is so powerful. What a beautiful and heartfelt post. Thank you so much for sharing his words with us. He has so much love for you and your little girl. I am glad that he was able to find a way to celebrate this Christmas with her memory. The card is so sweet and special, and the necklace sounds beautiful. I am sending you peace and love this Christmas! <3 <3 <3

Angela said...

What a beautiful, sweet idea. It is evident how much he loves you and Bailey. Thinking of the three of you this week.

Jennifer said...

You have a wonderful, sweet husband, Danae. And Bailey has a wonderful, sweet father. He has made his little girl so proud.

Thoughtful gestures like this from our other half lighten our grief so much so that it gives us strength and courage to carry on. They are our rock and our partners in this loss.

I hope this Christmas will be gentle and peaceful on the both of you. And may it fill you with love and remembrance for your daughter, Bailey. <3

Lisette said...

Wow, what a beautiful gift to receive. You can feel the love you both have for eachother and of of course Bailey. Wishing you peace this Christmas ((HUGS)).

Elaine said...

that is so sweet, it made me cry. Adam is an amazing husband and father! You and Bailey are lucky girls. I know this week is going to be tough but I hope you guys manage to find some peace and joy. Sending you lots of love

Rhiannon said...

This is such a beautiful, loving gift from your sweet husband. I hope that this holiday is as gentle on you as possible. Thinking of you, Bailey and your DH. <3

car said...

What a wonderful gift and what a wonderful husband to give it to you.