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Friday, July 30, 2010

3 Months Sweet Girl

Dearest Bailey,

Today is your 3 month Angelversary, my precious little one.  THREE months.  One entire quarter of the year.  In three months, we have celebrated your birth, mourned your death, celebrated mommy's 27th birthday, "celebrated" mommy's 1st Mother's Day and daddy's 1st Father's Day, made it through the first 4th of July without you, and celebrated daddy's 29th birthday.  That's alot to do in 3 months, sweet girl.  But, even with all of these things to do, they still didn't feel quite right...because they were all missing you.

My sweet daughter, I am sad that I don't know what you would be doing right now if you were still with us.  IF, in the alternate world, you survived, you would be a vibrant thriving 3 month old.  Or, would you still be baking in mommy's tummy?  If you were, I would be 36 weeks pregnant, huge as a house, and anxiously awaiting your arrival.  But, I don't live in an alternate world, I live in a world without you.  And it's a heartbreaking world.

I know you have made friends in Heaven.  I know you are playing with all of the other angel babies that were taken from their mommies and daddies far too early.  I know you are playing with Stevie, Valentina, Avery, and Charlotte.  You might even being batting your long eyelashes and giving a quirky little grin with those lips you got from mommy at Jacob, Kenny, Drew, or Blaine (or maybe even all of them).  Whoever you have met and whatever you are doing, please be good.  Please tell all of your friends (and I know you have hundreds of them), that their mommies and daddies miss them, just as much as we miss you.  Because sweet girl, we miss you all so very much.  We love you all so very much.

Sweet girl, I know you are also spending time with your great grandma, great grandpa, and great papaw.  I know they are watching over you until it is time for us to meet again.  I hope they are telling you all about me.  Your great papaw is an especially good story teller...don't let him tell you any stories about bears though!

My daughter, I now know that I was meant to meet all of these wonderful mommies and daddies, but I still wish you were here with me.  But, I know you have sent all of them to me, so we can all be there for each other in this very difficult time. 

We love you, my precious, sweet, darling daughter.  You were the light of my life.  You are deeply missed, and will be forever.  I hope you are having a good time in Heaven, and I want to hear all about it on that day we meet again. 



Dana said...

Beautiful, beautiful letter to Bailey. I can feel your love for her through your words. You have brought tears to my eyes.

I had a dream about Bailey last night. Five of our babies were in the NICU and all us Moms where there with them. I don't know who all 5 of the babies were, but they were all babies that I have come to know over the past 2 months. I do know that Bailey (she was in her little pink sleeper like in the picture) and Jacob were there. All of our babies were doing well and we had all become friends while basically living there with them. We all knew that our babies were going to come home and we were so grateful.

I wish that was the case for all of us. I'm so grateful to have met you, but of course wish it had been under better circumstances.

I'll be thinking about you alot all day and what you and Bailey would have been doing together today in that alternate universe.

Anonymous said...

brought tears to my eyes...these milestones without them are so very hard! and all the holidays just don't feel right. I am approaching the 7 month mark for my sweet Trent...and I think how can it be? how can he be gone?

Allison said...

What a beautiful and heartfelt letter. I have read it over and over again. When you mentioned Bailey’s friends and her flirtations with the little boys, I could feel my eyes swell with tears. I am so sad that our babies are meeting in Heaven and not here on Earth. You are such a wonderful mother to your little angel. I will be thinking about you and sending you love today.

Rhiannon said...

That was a beautiful letter to your sweet angel...

Angela said...

I love this letter to your sweet Bailey. There are so many wonderful elements to it I'm a bit speechless. I know today is hard for you. Much love.

Jennifer said...

This is such a heartfelt post. Love to you, your husband and your precious daughter, Bailey. I'm sure she's sending a lot of extra love to you from Heaven on this day.

Julie said...

danae, what a beautiful letter. i SO love the idea that all our angels are friends in heaven.

Violet1122 said...

Danae, I've had you in my thoughts and prayers all day. This was a beautiful post to your daughter. I have no doubt that she is very near to you today - as near as she can be.

(Big Hugs)

Anonymous said...

So beautiful Danae. I love love love the thought of our girls playing together. : ) <3 :tears:

Elaine said...

that is so sweet...sorry I was not online past 4 days to send you some love on Bailey's angelversary. It is nice to think our angels are keeping each other company while they wait for us. If Blaine is half as handsome as his dad I'm sure Bailey has a little crush on him. lol xoxo