Yesterday marked 21 weeks! Hooray! We are less than 2 weeks away from our scary time, less than 3 from viability, and about 16 weeks from delivery! I am SOOOOO ready for December!
I am definitely looking pregnant, even though I continue to get the "I didn't know you were pregnant!" exclamations! Mainly from people I haven't seen in a while. That's okay though...at least I've gotten past the awkward stage of just looking like I've gained weight (which I have....and quite a bit too...).
Baby E now has a name...which I have received MANY mixed reviews on...but, oh well!
Baby E's name will be Evyn Myka! Myka was chosen because Adam's gaming name has always been "Myka", but in an effort to make it a little more feminine, we changed the spelling. We knew we would use an E name for the first name, and with the middle name Myka, there were many things that we did NOT want to use because of how it sounded. But, Evan stood out to us and is a gender neutral name, so we again decided to change the spelling to make it a little more girly, and that's how we came up with Evyn!
Cameron is officially in a big girl bed. She has a full size bed and a matching dresser for her room. I have resolved to putting a body pillow at the edge, under the fitted sheet, because on night 2, I do believe she rolled out of bed. We never heard her cry and didn't realize she was in the floor until I went to get her up the next morning. This mommy felt REALLY bad!
All of the old "baby" furniture (crib and the matching dresser/changing table) has been moved to Evyn's future room. Most is set up, but not all. And it's a mess in there. I'm cleaning up 4 years of stuff in the dedicated "junk" room that will become her room. And for the last 2 years, it's been the collecting room of ALL of Cameron's clothes that I have kept, just in case we need them again. Problem is now that Cameron's clothes (most of them) will not work because Cameron was a late summer/early fall baby, and Evyn will be a winter baby. So, I am working to organize and get ready for our local "Just Between Friends" consignment sale to try to earn a little bit of cash and get a new wardrobe for Evyn.
Other than that, we're just staying busy and trying to pass the days and months til it's time to meet this little girl! We can't wait!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
He or She? What is Baby E?!
First off...let me say I know I suck. I've known what Baby E is for the last 2 weeks and still hadn't posted it here. Not that there are many readers out there, but I still should be diligent about keeping up with things. I apologize to those of you who do read. :)
So, here goes...
After having an unscheduled Dr.'s appointment on Wednesday the 17th, and the tech being able to find out what Baby E is...I couldn't wait...I moved our gender reveal party up to the 20th instead of the 27th! I know not as many people could make it because of the last minute notice, but it was still nice...for a thrown together event!
I found the cake that I wanted to order online, printed a picture, and took it to a local grocery store bakery. I didn't want to go to a specialty cake place and spend well over $100 for a cake, so I took it there, just hoping they could actually do this cake...and they could!
Up until that day (and on that day), I polled my Facebook friends and also those who came on what they thought Baby E would be.
So, on the day of the party, we picked up our cake....
So, here goes...
After having an unscheduled Dr.'s appointment on Wednesday the 17th, and the tech being able to find out what Baby E is...I couldn't wait...I moved our gender reveal party up to the 20th instead of the 27th! I know not as many people could make it because of the last minute notice, but it was still nice...for a thrown together event!
I found the cake that I wanted to order online, printed a picture, and took it to a local grocery store bakery. I didn't want to go to a specialty cake place and spend well over $100 for a cake, so I took it there, just hoping they could actually do this cake...and they could!
Up until that day (and on that day), I polled my Facebook friends and also those who came on what they thought Baby E would be.
The votes (including the board) were...36 votes for boy and 22 votes for girl! Adam's mom put "one of each" in the middle, because he broke the rules and told her before the party.
And to clarify...Adam was supposed to be the only person who knew. I did NOT know what Baby E was until we cut into the cake! The only way I could get Adam to agree to letting me have a gender reveal party was for him to get to find out before.
So, on the day of the party, we picked up our cake....
We cut into it...
Sooooo...He/She...What did we see?
It's a......
GIRL!!!
It's hard to see in the picture, but the color for the gender is in between the cake layers. And it was most definitely pink!
I was SHOCKED to say the least. I just KNEW that Baby E was a boy. Just KNEW it. And I have to say that Adam played it all off very well. When we found out that Bailey and Cameron both were girls, he grinned from ear to ear ALL day long. When he looked in the envelope for Baby E, he looked at it, said "Yup" and then folded the paper back up and put it back in the envelope. No emotion whatsoever. He also kept telling me that his co-worker had peeked in the envelope (because he took it to work to prevent me from peeking) and then made comments about the comment his co-worker had posted in his vote on Facebook (which was boy). I was so mad that I was finding out before because his co-worker knew. They both played me...which I should have known would happen. I just looked at Adam and said "Well played, sir!" and he said "Thank you!". Turns out, he had already told everyone he worked with. Such a fathead.
We are excited to be having another girl! I have to admit that I still think I'm a little bit in denial and that I half expect for my Dr. to tell us something differently at our appointment tomorrow, but I doubt that is the case.
This will definitely be the house of girls! Only exception will be Adam and Desmond (our dog)!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Better? and Upcoming Reveal!
Just a quick update after my "Hot Mess" post.
I'm completely better...have some other issues going on, but nothing serious.
Adam is also doing better for the time being. He had a colonoscopy done (thanks to some friends and family of friends who were able to get him in to have it done in less than 24 hours!) and they found nothing wrong up in there. They put him on another antibiotic to hopefully get rid of this for good. So far, it's working, however, what I don't know if it is REALLY fixing the issue or just masking it like what happened last time. He finishes his antibiotics on Sunday, so by mid-week next week, I assume we will know.
Tomorrow, we are having our gender reveal party! I had to go to MFM's office on Wednesday for the above issues, and they were able to get the gender! So, instead of doing reveal next weekend, we are doing it this weekend. At this point in time as I write, Adam is the only person who knows what Baby E is!
I took a poll on Facebook last night from friends and family, and so far 23 people think that baby is a boy and 15 think E is a girl! If you aren't friends with me on Facebook, what do you think Baby E is? I'll post tomorrow or Sunday once we know for sure!
I'm completely better...have some other issues going on, but nothing serious.
Adam is also doing better for the time being. He had a colonoscopy done (thanks to some friends and family of friends who were able to get him in to have it done in less than 24 hours!) and they found nothing wrong up in there. They put him on another antibiotic to hopefully get rid of this for good. So far, it's working, however, what I don't know if it is REALLY fixing the issue or just masking it like what happened last time. He finishes his antibiotics on Sunday, so by mid-week next week, I assume we will know.
Tomorrow, we are having our gender reveal party! I had to go to MFM's office on Wednesday for the above issues, and they were able to get the gender! So, instead of doing reveal next weekend, we are doing it this weekend. At this point in time as I write, Adam is the only person who knows what Baby E is!
I took a poll on Facebook last night from friends and family, and so far 23 people think that baby is a boy and 15 think E is a girl! If you aren't friends with me on Facebook, what do you think Baby E is? I'll post tomorrow or Sunday once we know for sure!
Monday, July 8, 2013
Hot Mess
Let me just say...We're just a hot mess over here.
Adam has been sick (I won't go into the gory details) for almost 3 weeks and his doctor can't figure out what's wrong with him. I was sick yesterday and today, but mine has been figured out.
Two poopy parents and a toddler = exhaustion.
Thank goodness for parents! My parents watched Cameron on Saturday while I had my cerclage done. Adam's mom came to the rescue and came to the house yesterday morning when I got bad, and then took Cameron home with her once C woke up. Grandpa was home yesterday, so they went back to their house and then went to church. Cameron had a blast!
It's been decided that I'm having a reaction to the Z-Pack I was put on post-cerclage. So, I am to stop taking it today and won't be picking up another antibiotic.
Adam's started as what his doctor thought was food poisoning. After a strong dose antibiotic, Adam was feeling better. About 3 days after stopping his antibiotic, he was sick again. Poor guy has lost over 15 pounds and has been on pretty much a liquid diet since Wednesday. He went back to the doctor today and they are running a bunch of tests and then probably going to send him to a GI doctor. Hopefully they can figure out soon what is wrong with him.
In the meantime though...our grocery bill has been relatively cheap with him being on a G2 diet. He did eat some Ramen Noodles yesterday. $2.28 for a 12 pack box...Adam's not the soup eater of any type. He doesn't do soup or cereal...anything that is liquidy. He ate the Ramen Noodles and even said it was good...I know he's hungry if he's saying that!
Like I said...hot mess here. Hopefully we start to get on the mend soon.
Adam has been sick (I won't go into the gory details) for almost 3 weeks and his doctor can't figure out what's wrong with him. I was sick yesterday and today, but mine has been figured out.
Two poopy parents and a toddler = exhaustion.
Thank goodness for parents! My parents watched Cameron on Saturday while I had my cerclage done. Adam's mom came to the rescue and came to the house yesterday morning when I got bad, and then took Cameron home with her once C woke up. Grandpa was home yesterday, so they went back to their house and then went to church. Cameron had a blast!
It's been decided that I'm having a reaction to the Z-Pack I was put on post-cerclage. So, I am to stop taking it today and won't be picking up another antibiotic.
Adam's started as what his doctor thought was food poisoning. After a strong dose antibiotic, Adam was feeling better. About 3 days after stopping his antibiotic, he was sick again. Poor guy has lost over 15 pounds and has been on pretty much a liquid diet since Wednesday. He went back to the doctor today and they are running a bunch of tests and then probably going to send him to a GI doctor. Hopefully they can figure out soon what is wrong with him.
In the meantime though...our grocery bill has been relatively cheap with him being on a G2 diet. He did eat some Ramen Noodles yesterday. $2.28 for a 12 pack box...Adam's not the soup eater of any type. He doesn't do soup or cereal...anything that is liquidy. He ate the Ramen Noodles and even said it was good...I know he's hungry if he's saying that!
Like I said...hot mess here. Hopefully we start to get on the mend soon.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Cerclage is In
Today was cerclage day and everything went according to plan. We got to the hospital right at 8:00 this morning and got checked in. Our nurse took us immediately to the room we were going to be in and got right to work.
This time was different than last time because it didn't take 5 times to get my iv in. And let me tell you, that made me very happy. The nurse did ask me if I was right or left handed and when I said "right", she said she was going to check that hand because it's usually better to go with the dominant hand. Knowing my crazy veins, I told her the left was best and showed her my good iv sticking spot. She went with it and got it right off the bat. Hurt like a son-of-a-you-know-what, but at least it didn't take 5 times!
After all paperwork and everything was done, the anesthesiologist came in and explained his piece and then said we weren't scheduled until 10:00 (it was about 9:00 at that time) and that he would see me in an hour. About 5 minutes later, another nurse came in and said we ready to go and we were going early!
I was rolled back to the OR and we got started at 9:12 and was done and back in the room at about 9:45. My left leg was more numb than the right leg through the whole procedure. I felt some pain during the procedure, but nothing unbearable. Once back to the room, I told the nurse I was hurting and she immediately gave me some pain meds through my iv. OH BOY...that stuff worked fast and it was freaking weird! As soon as it first started working, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. And I felt nauseated. So, I told the nurse that too, and she gave me some Zofran. After that, I think I was in and out of consciousness.
The rest of the morning and afternoon was par for the course. I had some lunch and waited on the feeling to come back in my lower half. My nurse did try to get me up to go to the bathroom around noon....WAY to early. I stood up and I felt like I was going to fall on my face.
I finally was able to get up and go to the bathroom around 4:30'ish and we were discharged a little bit after 5.
Everything is well, both stitches are in. I'm just a little tired and at this time...still a little numb. I'm just glad this one is done and behind me. Just need to make through the next 23 weeks with no incident!
Oh, and the more exciting thing of today....we found out we are going to go back for a follow-up with ultrasound in about 2 weeks...which means we shouldn't have to wait until August to find out what Baby E is! That is exciting! I can't wait!
This time was different than last time because it didn't take 5 times to get my iv in. And let me tell you, that made me very happy. The nurse did ask me if I was right or left handed and when I said "right", she said she was going to check that hand because it's usually better to go with the dominant hand. Knowing my crazy veins, I told her the left was best and showed her my good iv sticking spot. She went with it and got it right off the bat. Hurt like a son-of-a-you-know-what, but at least it didn't take 5 times!
After all paperwork and everything was done, the anesthesiologist came in and explained his piece and then said we weren't scheduled until 10:00 (it was about 9:00 at that time) and that he would see me in an hour. About 5 minutes later, another nurse came in and said we ready to go and we were going early!
I was rolled back to the OR and we got started at 9:12 and was done and back in the room at about 9:45. My left leg was more numb than the right leg through the whole procedure. I felt some pain during the procedure, but nothing unbearable. Once back to the room, I told the nurse I was hurting and she immediately gave me some pain meds through my iv. OH BOY...that stuff worked fast and it was freaking weird! As soon as it first started working, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. And I felt nauseated. So, I told the nurse that too, and she gave me some Zofran. After that, I think I was in and out of consciousness.
The rest of the morning and afternoon was par for the course. I had some lunch and waited on the feeling to come back in my lower half. My nurse did try to get me up to go to the bathroom around noon....WAY to early. I stood up and I felt like I was going to fall on my face.
I finally was able to get up and go to the bathroom around 4:30'ish and we were discharged a little bit after 5.
Everything is well, both stitches are in. I'm just a little tired and at this time...still a little numb. I'm just glad this one is done and behind me. Just need to make through the next 23 weeks with no incident!
Oh, and the more exciting thing of today....we found out we are going to go back for a follow-up with ultrasound in about 2 weeks...which means we shouldn't have to wait until August to find out what Baby E is! That is exciting! I can't wait!
Friday, July 5, 2013
Slightly Frustrated
Tomorrow is "supposed" to be my cerclage. I say "supposed to be" because I haven't heard a thing from either the hospital or my MFM's office regarding it. Last time, the hospital called and told me "nothing to eat or drink after whatever time". They also told me to be there at 5:00 a.m. to check in on the 6th floor.
I got that basic information from my MFM's office when the appointment was scheduled almost a month ago. Lucky them that I remember crap like that and I still have the card with all of the information on it (check in at 8:00 - 6th floor)...but, I mean really? Nothing?
I'm really expecting to get there tomorrow and for someone to say "We don't show you are scheduled for anything today". And I'm really afraid that I might flip my stuff on them if that happens...
I REALLY hope we get there tomorrow and I am wrong. I hope all is right, all is scheduled, and everything goes according to plan. And if it's not...I feel really sorry for whoever has to deal with this pregnant, hormonal mess of human being who would also be known as me.
I got that basic information from my MFM's office when the appointment was scheduled almost a month ago. Lucky them that I remember crap like that and I still have the card with all of the information on it (check in at 8:00 - 6th floor)...but, I mean really? Nothing?
I'm really expecting to get there tomorrow and for someone to say "We don't show you are scheduled for anything today". And I'm really afraid that I might flip my stuff on them if that happens...
I REALLY hope we get there tomorrow and I am wrong. I hope all is right, all is scheduled, and everything goes according to plan. And if it's not...I feel really sorry for whoever has to deal with this pregnant, hormonal mess of human being who would also be known as me.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
First Trimester Wrap-Up
This past week has been a big one...well, eventful...lots going on to keep me busy at work, Dr.'s appointment, and a trimester changer.
Well, God willing, this is the last time I say goodbye to the first trimester. As I've said before...as long as Baby E comes home with us as we intend, this is it for this mommy pregnancy wise.
I am never really sure when to call the first trimester done. My Doctor's office says 12 weeks, some of my apps say 13 weeks, and others say 14 weeks. So, being as I am 13w5d, I am saying it's done! It really is bittersweet to know this is it. But, the days of naïve and carefree pregnancy is over...stress and worry is what remains...so, it's for the best.
I took my first belly shot with Cameron when I hit 14 weeks...I don't know that I am going to do that this time...I think right now that I just look like I've gained weight in my mid-section! So, I guess we'll see how "good" I feel about how the belly looks on Tuesday when I hit 14 weeks officially.
My cerclage is in less than a week and it can't come soon enough! I'm so ready for it and to feel a little bit "safer". Of course, safe to me won't be until we are leaving the hospital with a little chunky girl or boy in the carseat. But...it will help me breathe a little bit easier until then.
We took Cameron to my Dr.'s appointment this past week...she was a BEAR! And she was NOT impressed. Poor girl immediately started crying when we started walking back to go to a room. All we could figure out is that every time we have been to the Dr., it's been for her and she has gotten a shot. Dr. = Shots & Pain to her...so she wasn't having any of it. Then she kind of freaked out when they turned the light off to do a quick sono. They did that instead of trying to chase baby around with the Doppler. Overall...Cameron was NOT impressed. However, she did ham it up with everything in the waiting room...she was a BIG hit! lol!
Also found out this week that my P17 shot is not covered by insurance. So far, my insurance hasn't covered my 1st trimester progesterone that I took up until week 10 and they aren't going to cover my Hydroxyprogesterone that I have to take for 20 weeks. FANTASTIC! I'm just frustrated because both were covered last time. So, instead of it being $55/vial like it was last time...it's $115/vial. Not horrible, because it could be worse, but sheesh! Fortunately, 5 shots come in 1 vial, so altogether, I will be paying $460. That's still a lot of money. But to bring this baby home...it will be priceless.
Well, God willing, this is the last time I say goodbye to the first trimester. As I've said before...as long as Baby E comes home with us as we intend, this is it for this mommy pregnancy wise.
I am never really sure when to call the first trimester done. My Doctor's office says 12 weeks, some of my apps say 13 weeks, and others say 14 weeks. So, being as I am 13w5d, I am saying it's done! It really is bittersweet to know this is it. But, the days of naïve and carefree pregnancy is over...stress and worry is what remains...so, it's for the best.
I took my first belly shot with Cameron when I hit 14 weeks...I don't know that I am going to do that this time...I think right now that I just look like I've gained weight in my mid-section! So, I guess we'll see how "good" I feel about how the belly looks on Tuesday when I hit 14 weeks officially.
My cerclage is in less than a week and it can't come soon enough! I'm so ready for it and to feel a little bit "safer". Of course, safe to me won't be until we are leaving the hospital with a little chunky girl or boy in the carseat. But...it will help me breathe a little bit easier until then.
We took Cameron to my Dr.'s appointment this past week...she was a BEAR! And she was NOT impressed. Poor girl immediately started crying when we started walking back to go to a room. All we could figure out is that every time we have been to the Dr., it's been for her and she has gotten a shot. Dr. = Shots & Pain to her...so she wasn't having any of it. Then she kind of freaked out when they turned the light off to do a quick sono. They did that instead of trying to chase baby around with the Doppler. Overall...Cameron was NOT impressed. However, she did ham it up with everything in the waiting room...she was a BIG hit! lol!
Also found out this week that my P17 shot is not covered by insurance. So far, my insurance hasn't covered my 1st trimester progesterone that I took up until week 10 and they aren't going to cover my Hydroxyprogesterone that I have to take for 20 weeks. FANTASTIC! I'm just frustrated because both were covered last time. So, instead of it being $55/vial like it was last time...it's $115/vial. Not horrible, because it could be worse, but sheesh! Fortunately, 5 shots come in 1 vial, so altogether, I will be paying $460. That's still a lot of money. But to bring this baby home...it will be priceless.
Friday, June 21, 2013
The Humor of My Day
Since finding out that Baby E is on the way, I've been talking about trying to breastfeed/pump this time around. Cameron was formula fed, and honestly, I am one of those parents who is perfectly fine with my kid(s) being a formula fed child. I was formula fed and so was my husband. I like to think that we are well adjusted, healthy, and intelligent people. Breastfeeding hasn't been something that has really appealed to me (for my own reasons...I know, breast is best...personal decision), but I know that budget wise, it would help greatly to not have to buy a can of formula every week. Or multiple cans in the midst of trying to figure out which formula is going to work best for us.
While looking into breast pumps, I cringe at the prices, and ventured to looking on Craigslist. I know that sounds weird, but I did. But then, some women on a board I am a part of who all have September 2011 babies, they told me that some insurance companies cover breast pumps. So, I thought I would look into it.
While looking online at our insurance provider, I found that ours does indeed cover pumps 100%! SCORE! No Craigslist breast pump for this mommy (yes, I was seriously considering buying a lightly used one...don't judge me)! I couldn't find the info on the providers or what we needed to do to get one, so I gave Adam an assignment...call the insurance company and ask questions. Now, I know he has plenty of time to complete his assignment, but it absolutely drives me crazy when he waits! I'm an instant gratification kind of girl...I want results! You would think I would just start doing things myself, but nope! :)
So, after 3 days, he FINALLY calls the insurance company. He asks a few questions and then calls me at work. He tells me that they confirmed they do cover pumps 100% and they told him that we have to get it from an approved provider (basically a medical supply store), and I have to have a prescription written from my Dr. (which I think is a little on the weird side...). He however did forget to ask if the 100% coverage is only for a certain amount, certain type, etc. I also wanted him to ask about breastfeeding supplies, like bags. Do they cover any of that stuff?
So, he calls back. When he calls the insurance company back, he gets another woman. As he is asking the questions I've given him, the woman tells him "now, we only cover these for women"...No, really?! We hadn't thought of that! LOL! He didn't know what to say to that...my response probably would have been some smartass remark (shocker!). When he told me this I started cracking up laughing! Like, leaned back in my chair, whole heartedly laughing! Funniest freaking thing I had heard all day!
I'm telling the girls I work with about this and tell them the comment that the woman said, and someone says "What would Adam do with a breast pump?.........NEVERMIND, I don't want to think about that!". Again, hilarious!
So, now I get to talk to my Doctor on Wednesday when I see her and get this prescription written (along with a note for work to send to benefits that says I'm pregnant). I know I'm not quite 13 weeks, but I would like to at least know what options I have, do my research, and go from there...because let's face it...I know squat about pumps. Up until about a week ago, I didn't know what the difference between an open and closed system.
Did /Do you pump? What kind of pump do you have/use? Do you like it and would you recommend it?
On a side note...I'm getting more of the "I didn't know you're pregnant!" comments. But, at the same time, the "Wow, you have lost weight and are looking great!" comments have stopped. Since I'm at this awkward inbetween stage...I wonder how many people right now think I'm just gaining weight...:P I'm ready to fast forward a few weeks and it actually be noticeable that I'm pregnant and not just adding fluff".
While looking into breast pumps, I cringe at the prices, and ventured to looking on Craigslist. I know that sounds weird, but I did. But then, some women on a board I am a part of who all have September 2011 babies, they told me that some insurance companies cover breast pumps. So, I thought I would look into it.
While looking online at our insurance provider, I found that ours does indeed cover pumps 100%! SCORE! No Craigslist breast pump for this mommy (yes, I was seriously considering buying a lightly used one...don't judge me)! I couldn't find the info on the providers or what we needed to do to get one, so I gave Adam an assignment...call the insurance company and ask questions. Now, I know he has plenty of time to complete his assignment, but it absolutely drives me crazy when he waits! I'm an instant gratification kind of girl...I want results! You would think I would just start doing things myself, but nope! :)
So, after 3 days, he FINALLY calls the insurance company. He asks a few questions and then calls me at work. He tells me that they confirmed they do cover pumps 100% and they told him that we have to get it from an approved provider (basically a medical supply store), and I have to have a prescription written from my Dr. (which I think is a little on the weird side...). He however did forget to ask if the 100% coverage is only for a certain amount, certain type, etc. I also wanted him to ask about breastfeeding supplies, like bags. Do they cover any of that stuff?
So, he calls back. When he calls the insurance company back, he gets another woman. As he is asking the questions I've given him, the woman tells him "now, we only cover these for women"...No, really?! We hadn't thought of that! LOL! He didn't know what to say to that...my response probably would have been some smartass remark (shocker!). When he told me this I started cracking up laughing! Like, leaned back in my chair, whole heartedly laughing! Funniest freaking thing I had heard all day!
I'm telling the girls I work with about this and tell them the comment that the woman said, and someone says "What would Adam do with a breast pump?.........NEVERMIND, I don't want to think about that!". Again, hilarious!
So, now I get to talk to my Doctor on Wednesday when I see her and get this prescription written (along with a note for work to send to benefits that says I'm pregnant). I know I'm not quite 13 weeks, but I would like to at least know what options I have, do my research, and go from there...because let's face it...I know squat about pumps. Up until about a week ago, I didn't know what the difference between an open and closed system.
Did /Do you pump? What kind of pump do you have/use? Do you like it and would you recommend it?
On a side note...I'm getting more of the "I didn't know you're pregnant!" comments. But, at the same time, the "Wow, you have lost weight and are looking great!" comments have stopped. Since I'm at this awkward inbetween stage...I wonder how many people right now think I'm just gaining weight...:P I'm ready to fast forward a few weeks and it actually be noticeable that I'm pregnant and not just adding fluff".
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Back in Arkansas
Back in Arkansas again this week for another meeting. Hoping that tonight and tomorrow do not yield same results as last week. I need a calm and peaceful evening. :). So, tonight consisted of some Five Guys for dinner and hanging out in my hotel room watching Titanic on AMC. I am sooooo exciting, huh?
Monday, June 17, 2013
Post-Surprise Announcement thru 12 weeks
I'm such a horrible blogger anymore. And I have no excuse why! Well, maybe it has to be 1st trimester exhaustion and an every moving 21 month old? Nahhh....that can't be it. My other blogging friends find time for it!
Well, since I let the cat out of bag...what's been happening? In no particular order....
Today marks 11w6d, so we have ALMOST made it out of the first trimester...woo hoo! I made it through my first round of progesterone shots...Adam is soooooo glad to be done with those! We've seen my MFM twice so far and gotten my cerclage scheduled (more to come on that). I've traveled out of state and freaked the crap out while I was gone...and probably more!
My first appointment with my MFM on June 7th was an interesting one! We got there for a 3:40 appointment and was finally called back. As the nurse took me to get my vitals, my Dr. said "You know what's funny?" and my response was "It feels like you just saw us yesterday"? He then said something that I didn't quite understand, he repeated himself, and the nurse asked me "Do you blog?". I said yes, and then my Dr. told me that he had just come across my blog that morning! He was looking for reviews and searched his name and cerclage, and he came across my post about my cerclage I had with Cameron! He remembered Bailey's name, he said that as he was going through posts, he was seeing pictures and he was saying "I remember her. I recognize her husband too!" and then lo and behold, here we come mozying in that afternoon! The nurse told me "We've been talking about you all day and you didn't even know it!".
My first ultrasound with his office showed a bouncing baby. It was too early to do NT scan, but with this scan, Dr. Mirabile took a guess at what Baby E is going to be...he thinks a girl! Now, my calculations that worked with both Bailey and Cameron says boy...so I'm sticking with it, but even after our NT scan today, we saw a baby with it's legs crossed and I saw NOTHING that indicated a little boy. Still so early though!
We talked about reviews usually being about the wait time. Yes, their office wait time is long, but like I told him...as long as he gets me to the end and we get a healthy baby to take home...I don't care how long I have to wait to be seen. When you go through something like what have, the wait in minor in the grand scheme of it all.
We scheduled my cerclage for July 6th @ 10:00 a.m. I'll be 14w4d...and I was kind of freaking out (okay, no kind of...I was freaking out after the pains of last week), especially after a physical check of my cervix yielded comments of "closed" (yay!), firm (yay!), but stubby (wtf?!). Stubby? STUBBY? Yikes.
Fast forward to Tuesday/Wednesday of last week. I had to go to Rogers/Bentonville, Arkansas for a meeting for work. It was an overnight trip. I went with a group and after we got there, we went to dinner. Ate at an Italian restaurant called Carrabas. I had chicken fettucine alfredo. It was delicious when I ate it...at 1:30 a.m. though, I regretted it.
After tire hell (we had a huge knot on one tire and ended up at Wal-Mart at 8:30 at night to get a new one) and finally getting back to the hotel, I went to bed while watching Nick at Nite (The Nanny). At 1:30 a.m., I woke up for a dead sleep with the worst pain ever in my stomach. Praying with all my might, I was praying it was gas...passed a little gas...oh, sweet relief. Five minutes later though, pain again. Again passed gas...relief! Again, five minutes later...more pain. I was having flashbacks to waking up in the middle of the night in 2010...on April 30th, 2010, thinking it was gas pains, and then realizing on the way to the hospital that I was having contractions. And here I am, sitting in room 522 of the Holiday Inn about to flip out because: 1. I'm cramping and hurting. 2. I'm in freaking Arkansas! 3. I have no car, because I rode with others. And I had no idea what I was going to do. Then I felt it...the gurgling in my belly and the worst urge to throw up I think I've ever had. I got up, ate a couple of Tums (knowing that one of two things was going to happen...either I would throw up or my stomach would start to settle), sat in the floor of that white tiled bathroom and waited. Once I finally felt better (belly settled...I didn't throw up...just in case you were wondering...), I went back to bed, and started dozing and then felt another pang...I looked at the clock and had I felt better, I would have done a happy dance had I felt a little better...it had been 20 minutes since the last pain! It really was gas! Hooray! LOL!
But, the Arkansas drama doesn't end there. I get up and go to my meeting on Wednesday, and about halfway through the meeting, I start hurting...down there. The best analogy I could come up with to explain it to my Dr's office...it felt like the inside of my nether-regions was a bag of potato chips...and someone REALLY wanted that bag open. That's what I would equate it to. And it was not cool. This prompted a phone call to my Dr.'s office after the meeting was over, and they worked me in on Thursday. I love their office. They know I'm a worrying freak and they tolerate it. They deserve something...something good!
Thursday's work-in appointment resulted in a cervix check (firm, rock hard, and yes stubby, but she said it could be from all the procedures I've had). Check for infection, and no infection found. They did a sono while I was there with their portable machine. Sono showed a baby using my uterus as it's own personal moon bounce (it looked like a pinball machine going on in there) and a baby playing with it's umbilical cord. Silly kid. If this baby is as active once it's bigger as it is now...I won't have to worry about having a lazy baby like Cameron was while in utero.
NT scan today showed low chances for Downs, just waiting on the blood work to come back. Cerclage is scheduled for July 6th, so now we wait. I don't go back to the MFM's office until August 5th for another ultrasound...I'll be about 18 weeks (I think...I calculated it earlier, but I forget, and I'm too lazy to recalculate). Little concerned because we NEVER went that far in between appointments with Cameron. It's just weird to me. I'm ready to get stitched up though. I think that will help alleviate a little of the anxiety.
Thank goodness for Cameron. She keeps me busy enough most of the time that I don't have time to think about everything going on. When I can't think about it, I'm okay. It's those times I have time to think...oh, sheesh.
I'll try to do better to update more often! I've said that before, huh? I really will try!
Well, since I let the cat out of bag...what's been happening? In no particular order....
Today marks 11w6d, so we have ALMOST made it out of the first trimester...woo hoo! I made it through my first round of progesterone shots...Adam is soooooo glad to be done with those! We've seen my MFM twice so far and gotten my cerclage scheduled (more to come on that). I've traveled out of state and freaked the crap out while I was gone...and probably more!
My first appointment with my MFM on June 7th was an interesting one! We got there for a 3:40 appointment and was finally called back. As the nurse took me to get my vitals, my Dr. said "You know what's funny?" and my response was "It feels like you just saw us yesterday"? He then said something that I didn't quite understand, he repeated himself, and the nurse asked me "Do you blog?". I said yes, and then my Dr. told me that he had just come across my blog that morning! He was looking for reviews and searched his name and cerclage, and he came across my post about my cerclage I had with Cameron! He remembered Bailey's name, he said that as he was going through posts, he was seeing pictures and he was saying "I remember her. I recognize her husband too!" and then lo and behold, here we come mozying in that afternoon! The nurse told me "We've been talking about you all day and you didn't even know it!".
My first ultrasound with his office showed a bouncing baby. It was too early to do NT scan, but with this scan, Dr. Mirabile took a guess at what Baby E is going to be...he thinks a girl! Now, my calculations that worked with both Bailey and Cameron says boy...so I'm sticking with it, but even after our NT scan today, we saw a baby with it's legs crossed and I saw NOTHING that indicated a little boy. Still so early though!
We talked about reviews usually being about the wait time. Yes, their office wait time is long, but like I told him...as long as he gets me to the end and we get a healthy baby to take home...I don't care how long I have to wait to be seen. When you go through something like what have, the wait in minor in the grand scheme of it all.
We scheduled my cerclage for July 6th @ 10:00 a.m. I'll be 14w4d...and I was kind of freaking out (okay, no kind of...I was freaking out after the pains of last week), especially after a physical check of my cervix yielded comments of "closed" (yay!), firm (yay!), but stubby (wtf?!). Stubby? STUBBY? Yikes.
Baby E's profile on 6/7/13 - 10w3d
Fast forward to Tuesday/Wednesday of last week. I had to go to Rogers/Bentonville, Arkansas for a meeting for work. It was an overnight trip. I went with a group and after we got there, we went to dinner. Ate at an Italian restaurant called Carrabas. I had chicken fettucine alfredo. It was delicious when I ate it...at 1:30 a.m. though, I regretted it.
After tire hell (we had a huge knot on one tire and ended up at Wal-Mart at 8:30 at night to get a new one) and finally getting back to the hotel, I went to bed while watching Nick at Nite (The Nanny). At 1:30 a.m., I woke up for a dead sleep with the worst pain ever in my stomach. Praying with all my might, I was praying it was gas...passed a little gas...oh, sweet relief. Five minutes later though, pain again. Again passed gas...relief! Again, five minutes later...more pain. I was having flashbacks to waking up in the middle of the night in 2010...on April 30th, 2010, thinking it was gas pains, and then realizing on the way to the hospital that I was having contractions. And here I am, sitting in room 522 of the Holiday Inn about to flip out because: 1. I'm cramping and hurting. 2. I'm in freaking Arkansas! 3. I have no car, because I rode with others. And I had no idea what I was going to do. Then I felt it...the gurgling in my belly and the worst urge to throw up I think I've ever had. I got up, ate a couple of Tums (knowing that one of two things was going to happen...either I would throw up or my stomach would start to settle), sat in the floor of that white tiled bathroom and waited. Once I finally felt better (belly settled...I didn't throw up...just in case you were wondering...), I went back to bed, and started dozing and then felt another pang...I looked at the clock and had I felt better, I would have done a happy dance had I felt a little better...it had been 20 minutes since the last pain! It really was gas! Hooray! LOL!
But, the Arkansas drama doesn't end there. I get up and go to my meeting on Wednesday, and about halfway through the meeting, I start hurting...down there. The best analogy I could come up with to explain it to my Dr's office...it felt like the inside of my nether-regions was a bag of potato chips...and someone REALLY wanted that bag open. That's what I would equate it to. And it was not cool. This prompted a phone call to my Dr.'s office after the meeting was over, and they worked me in on Thursday. I love their office. They know I'm a worrying freak and they tolerate it. They deserve something...something good!
Thursday's work-in appointment resulted in a cervix check (firm, rock hard, and yes stubby, but she said it could be from all the procedures I've had). Check for infection, and no infection found. They did a sono while I was there with their portable machine. Sono showed a baby using my uterus as it's own personal moon bounce (it looked like a pinball machine going on in there) and a baby playing with it's umbilical cord. Silly kid. If this baby is as active once it's bigger as it is now...I won't have to worry about having a lazy baby like Cameron was while in utero.
NT scan today showed low chances for Downs, just waiting on the blood work to come back. Cerclage is scheduled for July 6th, so now we wait. I don't go back to the MFM's office until August 5th for another ultrasound...I'll be about 18 weeks (I think...I calculated it earlier, but I forget, and I'm too lazy to recalculate). Little concerned because we NEVER went that far in between appointments with Cameron. It's just weird to me. I'm ready to get stitched up though. I think that will help alleviate a little of the anxiety.
Baby E says "I'm looking at YOU!". 6/17/2013 - 11w6d
Thank goodness for Cameron. She keeps me busy enough most of the time that I don't have time to think about everything going on. When I can't think about it, I'm okay. It's those times I have time to think...oh, sheesh.
I'll try to do better to update more often! I've said that before, huh? I really will try!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
SURPRISE!!!
I've been dying to post this for WEEKS now! Even though this is more for my benefit, because I don't think there are many who read my not very active blog nowadays, I will probably become more active now that we have some very exciting news to share!
My caption posted to this photo on Facebook said "Cameron says 'I'm so excited...I'm calling everyone I know to tell them...I'm going to be a BIG sister'!".
Being someone who has battled infertility for YEARS (we started our journey to start a family in 2006), I honestly didn't know it could be easy! We were fortunate with Bailey and Cameron to ONLY have to do medications to get pregnant, but seeing an RE, charting everything monthly, planning and timing everything...let's face it...it's not the most fun, and it's exhausting! That process right there was what was keeping us from deciding to go back to the RE. Plus, we're right in the middle of Operation Pay Crap Off.
Even at my annual in April, I was asked about birth control (like always) and as always, I declined. I KNOW my body. I told them I didn't foresee anything happening as my cycles have been wacky since Cameron's arrival (nothing unusual for me). One normal cycle, one with a short luteal phase, and then a 4 month long cycle...yup, that's how I roll. My Dr. even laughed and said "You'd be surprised how many women I see who have so many problems getting pregnant, go through treatments, have a baby, and then spontaneously get pregnant". I laughed. In my mind, that would NEVER be us!
Boy, was I wrong! I won't go into the gory details to spare you, but this cycle started in February. That's right, February! But come early April, I knew what was happening. We've semi-sort of talked about it, gave it one shot, and 11 days later...holy surprise Batman on that pee stick!
I stopped at Wal-Mart one Thursday evening because I had been feeling "off". Knowing that it was really too early to test, I went ahead and did it that evening, not expecting anything. And I was right, negative test (I use digital, so there was no guessing). I wasn't upset, and actually hadn't even told Adam that I had tested. Just chunked the test and went on.
That night though...I had the most vivid dream. I have dreams quite frequently, most of the time, weird ones or ones that scare the crap out of me, but when I wake, I can't remember them. Vivid dreams typically only happen when I'm pregnant. This one had me waking to find myself in tears. I dreamt of my Mamaw. My Mamaw just passed on February 18th of this year. One of the most awful days I can recall in my life. But, on the evening of April 18th, and having this VERY vivid dream made me wonder. In my dream, I was saying "Say bye-bye to Great Mamaw" but I wasn't saying it to Cameron. I couldn't see a face. But, I knew it wasn't Cameron.
After having that dream, I got up on Friday, the 19th, and even though I had gotten that negative test not even 12 hours before, I peed on another one. Just as with Cameron, I waited, I weighed myself, I washed my hands, I fiddled around for what seemed like the LONGEST 3 minutes ever. I walked back over getting ready to pick up the test and chunk it in the trash, and saw it..."Pregnant". All I could say is "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I could hear Adam from the bedroom ask "what?" and all my response could be was "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, holy crap". And then I freaked the crap out.
It's NEVER been this easy! We didn't know it could be this easy! Who'da freaking thunk it?!
I called the Dr's office that morning AS SOON AS they opened and left a message for the nurse. She called back shrieking and sent me for bloodwork. I left immediately and went and had it done. Even though they closed at noon and I expected not to get my results until Monday, they called me back and gave me my results...it was official...33.7 beta. Only instructions were to start progesterone immediately and go back on Monday for another beta.
Monday the 22nd's beta came back at 182.3...better than I expected! My Dr.'s office said I didn't have to go back for anymore. A few days later, I called and asked if I could go back and have the 3rd one done, just for my own sanity. So on Monday the 29th, I went back and that beta was 3840...again, better than I expected!
We scheduled an early ultrasound so we could make sure we really did have something growing in there. In the meantime, we didn't tell anyone. And finally, on May 14th, we got to see our little blueberry! First ultrasound revealed only one little blueberry growing with a heart rate of 148 bpm, measuring at 7 weeks, and due on December 31st! I finally felt like I could breathe!
We announced to our families this weekend with Cameron being in the shirt seen in the picture above, and everyone seems excited! We are ecstatic and anxiously wait for December! We hope and pray this pregnancy is as easy as it was to make it happen. So far, that hasn't proven true as I've had many of the same scares that I had with both Bailey and Cameron, but I'm just going to chalk it up to my body is weird. All I can say is: I'm SO glad that I blogged while pregnant with Cameron...because the craziness is the same in some regards, it's helping keeping me somewhat sane! But, here we go again!
Being someone who has battled infertility for YEARS (we started our journey to start a family in 2006), I honestly didn't know it could be easy! We were fortunate with Bailey and Cameron to ONLY have to do medications to get pregnant, but seeing an RE, charting everything monthly, planning and timing everything...let's face it...it's not the most fun, and it's exhausting! That process right there was what was keeping us from deciding to go back to the RE. Plus, we're right in the middle of Operation Pay Crap Off.
Even at my annual in April, I was asked about birth control (like always) and as always, I declined. I KNOW my body. I told them I didn't foresee anything happening as my cycles have been wacky since Cameron's arrival (nothing unusual for me). One normal cycle, one with a short luteal phase, and then a 4 month long cycle...yup, that's how I roll. My Dr. even laughed and said "You'd be surprised how many women I see who have so many problems getting pregnant, go through treatments, have a baby, and then spontaneously get pregnant". I laughed. In my mind, that would NEVER be us!
Boy, was I wrong! I won't go into the gory details to spare you, but this cycle started in February. That's right, February! But come early April, I knew what was happening. We've semi-sort of talked about it, gave it one shot, and 11 days later...holy surprise Batman on that pee stick!
I stopped at Wal-Mart one Thursday evening because I had been feeling "off". Knowing that it was really too early to test, I went ahead and did it that evening, not expecting anything. And I was right, negative test (I use digital, so there was no guessing). I wasn't upset, and actually hadn't even told Adam that I had tested. Just chunked the test and went on.
That night though...I had the most vivid dream. I have dreams quite frequently, most of the time, weird ones or ones that scare the crap out of me, but when I wake, I can't remember them. Vivid dreams typically only happen when I'm pregnant. This one had me waking to find myself in tears. I dreamt of my Mamaw. My Mamaw just passed on February 18th of this year. One of the most awful days I can recall in my life. But, on the evening of April 18th, and having this VERY vivid dream made me wonder. In my dream, I was saying "Say bye-bye to Great Mamaw" but I wasn't saying it to Cameron. I couldn't see a face. But, I knew it wasn't Cameron.
After having that dream, I got up on Friday, the 19th, and even though I had gotten that negative test not even 12 hours before, I peed on another one. Just as with Cameron, I waited, I weighed myself, I washed my hands, I fiddled around for what seemed like the LONGEST 3 minutes ever. I walked back over getting ready to pick up the test and chunk it in the trash, and saw it..."Pregnant". All I could say is "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I could hear Adam from the bedroom ask "what?" and all my response could be was "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, holy crap". And then I freaked the crap out.
It's NEVER been this easy! We didn't know it could be this easy! Who'da freaking thunk it?!
I called the Dr's office that morning AS SOON AS they opened and left a message for the nurse. She called back shrieking and sent me for bloodwork. I left immediately and went and had it done. Even though they closed at noon and I expected not to get my results until Monday, they called me back and gave me my results...it was official...33.7 beta. Only instructions were to start progesterone immediately and go back on Monday for another beta.
Monday the 22nd's beta came back at 182.3...better than I expected! My Dr.'s office said I didn't have to go back for anymore. A few days later, I called and asked if I could go back and have the 3rd one done, just for my own sanity. So on Monday the 29th, I went back and that beta was 3840...again, better than I expected!
We scheduled an early ultrasound so we could make sure we really did have something growing in there. In the meantime, we didn't tell anyone. And finally, on May 14th, we got to see our little blueberry! First ultrasound revealed only one little blueberry growing with a heart rate of 148 bpm, measuring at 7 weeks, and due on December 31st! I finally felt like I could breathe!
We announced to our families this weekend with Cameron being in the shirt seen in the picture above, and everyone seems excited! We are ecstatic and anxiously wait for December! We hope and pray this pregnancy is as easy as it was to make it happen. So far, that hasn't proven true as I've had many of the same scares that I had with both Bailey and Cameron, but I'm just going to chalk it up to my body is weird. All I can say is: I'm SO glad that I blogged while pregnant with Cameron...because the craziness is the same in some regards, it's helping keeping me somewhat sane! But, here we go again!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Three Years
I know I say this every year, but where does time go?
I CANNOT even believe that it's been three years. Well, three years and a day to be exact.
I managed to make it through yesterday without having a nervous breakdown. We got new flowers put out at the cemetery. Cameron admired the flowers and the light reflector that we have out there, and kept pointing to them and Bailey's headstone, and kept saying "pretty". We talked about her sister (as we normally do) and she babbled on (like she normally does).
We talked about how different this year is. The past 2 years, we have put flowers out, and then we would go to my Mamaw's house and visit with her. Last year on Bailey's birthday, we were having her and her headstone moved next to where Mamaw was to be buried. I never in a million years imagined that a year later, Mamaw would be next to her, and we would be "visiting" her there.
It's just hard to believe, but it's our life.
I felt the overwhelming love from all the facebook messages and texts yesterday. That's one of my biggest fears...that she'll be forgotten. And the love we received yesterday told us she hasn't been.
It was a day of love, reflection, and remembrance.
Happy Third Birthday in Heaven, sweet Bailey! We miss you so much!
I CANNOT even believe that it's been three years. Well, three years and a day to be exact.
I managed to make it through yesterday without having a nervous breakdown. We got new flowers put out at the cemetery. Cameron admired the flowers and the light reflector that we have out there, and kept pointing to them and Bailey's headstone, and kept saying "pretty". We talked about her sister (as we normally do) and she babbled on (like she normally does).
We talked about how different this year is. The past 2 years, we have put flowers out, and then we would go to my Mamaw's house and visit with her. Last year on Bailey's birthday, we were having her and her headstone moved next to where Mamaw was to be buried. I never in a million years imagined that a year later, Mamaw would be next to her, and we would be "visiting" her there.
It's just hard to believe, but it's our life.
I felt the overwhelming love from all the facebook messages and texts yesterday. That's one of my biggest fears...that she'll be forgotten. And the love we received yesterday told us she hasn't been.
It was a day of love, reflection, and remembrance.
Happy Third Birthday in Heaven, sweet Bailey! We miss you so much!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
We Really Are Still Here!
I know you might not believe it since I haven't done a blog post since May 20th, and I also haven't been around to comment on posts, but we really are still here!
Honestly, anymore, the best place to keep up with me and for me to keep up with anyone is via Facebook, and that's sometimes hit or miss. I've missed pregnancy announcements, adoption announcements, birth announcements, engagements, and more because of being MIA.
So, what has been going on in our world since Cameron had her eye surgery in May that has caused me to be so absent from my social media world?
Well, Cameron has been keeping us busy! Since I work full time, I only get to be with her a couple of hours on the weekdays and the weekends are spent entertaining her! She became mobile early on by crawling and actually started walking without assistance by 11 months! We've had a 1st Birthday and party, we've had a second eye surgery, made it through the holidays, and now are battling our first illness and also a reaction to shots! We've made it through 9-10 teeth, bumps and bruises, and soaked up smiles and giggles!
She's been exactly what we have needed for the last 2 1/2 years...our own little piece of heaven, sent to help heal our hearts. It still hurts my heart that she will never know her big sister and I still think about the "what ifs" and "what might have beens", but the reality of everything is...this is our life. And with all of the messed up things in this world going on, all I can do is cherish every moment we have with this precious little girl, because the news lately just reminds me even more than what I already know...nothing is guaranteed.
In non-Cameron news, the only other major thing going on here is we are on a major debt paying mission. Operation-Pay-Crap-Off has been going on full-force since October 15th. I can honestly say that we haven't used the credit card once since October 14th, and by the end of January, as long as everything goes according to plan, we will have paid off over $10,000 in debt. We are still far from being debt-free, but we are well on our way!
I'll leave you with some pictures from the last few months...I hope to do better at both keeping up with blogs and writing on mine!
Honestly, anymore, the best place to keep up with me and for me to keep up with anyone is via Facebook, and that's sometimes hit or miss. I've missed pregnancy announcements, adoption announcements, birth announcements, engagements, and more because of being MIA.
So, what has been going on in our world since Cameron had her eye surgery in May that has caused me to be so absent from my social media world?
Well, Cameron has been keeping us busy! Since I work full time, I only get to be with her a couple of hours on the weekdays and the weekends are spent entertaining her! She became mobile early on by crawling and actually started walking without assistance by 11 months! We've had a 1st Birthday and party, we've had a second eye surgery, made it through the holidays, and now are battling our first illness and also a reaction to shots! We've made it through 9-10 teeth, bumps and bruises, and soaked up smiles and giggles!
She's been exactly what we have needed for the last 2 1/2 years...our own little piece of heaven, sent to help heal our hearts. It still hurts my heart that she will never know her big sister and I still think about the "what ifs" and "what might have beens", but the reality of everything is...this is our life. And with all of the messed up things in this world going on, all I can do is cherish every moment we have with this precious little girl, because the news lately just reminds me even more than what I already know...nothing is guaranteed.
In non-Cameron news, the only other major thing going on here is we are on a major debt paying mission. Operation-Pay-Crap-Off has been going on full-force since October 15th. I can honestly say that we haven't used the credit card once since October 14th, and by the end of January, as long as everything goes according to plan, we will have paid off over $10,000 in debt. We are still far from being debt-free, but we are well on our way!
I'll leave you with some pictures from the last few months...I hope to do better at both keeping up with blogs and writing on mine!
This was one of Cameron's 6 month pictures taken by Eden Wilson Photography. Sara is a volunteer for NILMDTS and took Bailey's pictures in the hospital, which is where we first met her.
A comparison shot - This is Cameron in May 2012 at her first eye surgery and again in November 2012 for her second surgery...sitting on the same bench...my, how she has grown!
Another comparison - this is one month prior to Cameron's first surgery and one month after her second surgery. She still appears to be crossed, but she really isn't!
Mommy/daughter picture on Cameron's first birthday!
Yum....cake!
Thanksgiving Day 2012 - Picture by my sister!
Family picture on Thanksgiving Day!
Stocking time on Christmas Day! She hates the camera flash!
What is this white stuff?!
Family picture in the snow!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Just Can't Believe It
This post is going to start heavy...but it will end positive!
There are many things that I can't believe.
I can't believe that I struggled with infertility for 2 years before even getting pregnant.
I can't believe I had two early miscarriages.
I can't believe that I am the mother to a beautiful baby girl I had to bury.
I can't believe 2 years has passed since we said "hello" and "goodbye" to Bailey.
I can't believe that I had the courage to go through pregnancy again after what we went through.
I can't believe that I am now the mother to a beautiful rainbow baby girl.
I can't believe that Cameron is now 8 months old.
I can't believe that as of yesterday, my 8 month old now crawls!!
I can't believe that as of today, my 8 month old pulls herself up to a standing position!
I can't believe how quickly it all goes!
The last 2 days have been VERY eventful in the Southerland house! Cameron officially is a crawler! Not the army crawl or scooting crawl...it's the "take off on all fours and see what kind of mischief I can get into" crawl! Her favorite item to crawl to? Desmond's toys! I swear...I think my dog puts his toys just out of reach from her so she will crawl to get them. He knows what he is doing!
Then tonight, right before bath time, she crawls over to her exersaucer and pulls herself up to a standing position! She was so proud! And I have to admit, I am one proud mommy! But, that means she is getting so big and before I know it, she's going to be walking and talking and causing all kinds of trouble!
I guess it is officially time to baby proof the house!
There are many things that I can't believe.
I can't believe that I struggled with infertility for 2 years before even getting pregnant.
I can't believe I had two early miscarriages.
I can't believe that I am the mother to a beautiful baby girl I had to bury.
I can't believe 2 years has passed since we said "hello" and "goodbye" to Bailey.
I can't believe that I had the courage to go through pregnancy again after what we went through.
I can't believe that I am now the mother to a beautiful rainbow baby girl.
I can't believe that Cameron is now 8 months old.
I can't believe that as of yesterday, my 8 month old now crawls!!
I can't believe that as of today, my 8 month old pulls herself up to a standing position!
I can't believe how quickly it all goes!
The last 2 days have been VERY eventful in the Southerland house! Cameron officially is a crawler! Not the army crawl or scooting crawl...it's the "take off on all fours and see what kind of mischief I can get into" crawl! Her favorite item to crawl to? Desmond's toys! I swear...I think my dog puts his toys just out of reach from her so she will crawl to get them. He knows what he is doing!
Then tonight, right before bath time, she crawls over to her exersaucer and pulls herself up to a standing position! She was so proud! And I have to admit, I am one proud mommy! But, that means she is getting so big and before I know it, she's going to be walking and talking and causing all kinds of trouble!
I guess it is officially time to baby proof the house!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Eye Surgery Success!
I don't think that I ever posted that Cameron was going to have eye surgery. She was a classic case of Infantile Esotropia, which means she was severely cross-eyed!
So, this past Thursday, Cameron had eye surgery on BOTH eyes. She made a small incision on the inside of both eyes, detached the muscle, and reattached it 7 mm back from where it was. This will allow her eyes to go to where they are supposed to be.
We checked into the Surgery Center at 6:15 a.m. We met with the nurses, anesthesiologist, and her Dr. before she went in. They took her back at 7:00 and we got called to the front desk at 7:30. They told us she was done. Her doctor said she did great and once she woke up we could go back to recovery with her. They called us back at 7:45. She was NOT a happy camper! We gave her a bottle, and then shortly after 8:00 they told us we could go home! So, we did!
As soon as we got outside, she popped her eyes open and started looking around. And then she cried! Seeing bloody tears come out of her eyes was a little on the creepy side, but just seeing her eyes for that first time...there was a HUGE difference! See for yourself....
So, this past Thursday, Cameron had eye surgery on BOTH eyes. She made a small incision on the inside of both eyes, detached the muscle, and reattached it 7 mm back from where it was. This will allow her eyes to go to where they are supposed to be.
We checked into the Surgery Center at 6:15 a.m. We met with the nurses, anesthesiologist, and her Dr. before she went in. They took her back at 7:00 and we got called to the front desk at 7:30. They told us she was done. Her doctor said she did great and once she woke up we could go back to recovery with her. They called us back at 7:45. She was NOT a happy camper! We gave her a bottle, and then shortly after 8:00 they told us we could go home! So, we did!
As soon as we got outside, she popped her eyes open and started looking around. And then she cried! Seeing bloody tears come out of her eyes was a little on the creepy side, but just seeing her eyes for that first time...there was a HUGE difference! See for yourself....
Taken on 5/10/2012 - right before her surgery
Taken 5/10/2012 - evening after her surgery
Taken 5/13/2012 - 3 days post surgery and at Target
The worst part of the surgery was the 2 days after...we had to put drops in her eyes, and she did NOT like that! In fact, we had tricked her on Thursday night and put the drops in while she was eating her last bottle. Uh, Friday night...that trick didn't work. She saw the eye drop bottle, launched her food bottle, sat straight up, and screamed bloody murder! NOT fun!
It is highly likely that she will have to have another surgery later this year due to the severity of the cross, and it is possible she may have to other surgeries in a few years. We'll cross those bridges when we get there. But, the change has been amazing!
For MONTHS we though she had colic (and she may have). You name it, we probably tried it. For the past 8 months, we have had the baby who screams every night. Come 6:00 (used to be before), she would get horribly grumpy and scream. It was all we could do to get through the last hour before her bedtime.
Post surgery - she is so happy! She plays and smiles...she watches EVERYTHING and is so observant! She laughs at most everything! We joke and say that it's like we traded in the grumpy version of Cameron and got the version that is happy! We really do think she was probably having headaches which was what was causing the fussiness. We'll see how long the happy version of Cameron lasts though!
And to top it off, today she is 8 months old! Of all her pictures I tried to get this morning and this evening, this one is my favorite. She looks exceptionally bored with this whole picture business!
Hurry up...okay mom?
Playing with her feet and tongue out...that's my girl!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Bailey's 2nd Birthday
The anxiety leading up to today has been overwhelming. Has it really been two years? I just can't believe it. Adam and I were talking on our way home from my mom's birthday dinner last night and I made the comment that there are many days that I still can't believe that this is our life. He agreed.
Sleep was a rarity last night, and what little bit I got was not restful...Adam didn't sleep much either. And at 3:33 a.m. this morning, my eyes popped open...and I came apart. I typed my Happy Birthday post to Bailey on Facebook and cried as I posted it. And it was absolutely fitting that it was pouring down rain this morning as I remembered everything that happened on that fateful day. Every time a text message came in, a facebook comment was posted, a picture or a video was posted, the tears flowed.
Finally today, Bailey was also moved to her final resting place on this Earth. She is no longer at the foot of my Grandma's grave. And even though, I have no doubt that my Grandma would have been honored for her to be there (stone and all), I no longer have to worry about the drama. We really wanted her and her stone moved before her birthday so we could put out flowers and it all came together. Her stone was moved on Friday and she was moved this morning. Because everything is done, we were able to go out to visit and put out her flowers.
We went to Hobby Lobby and picked out the flowers we wanted and Adam got his cat tails to add to the bouquets...those will always be included in her birthday bouquets. It's his thing...and I love that he has a special thing just for her.
We put them out while Cameron tried to eat dirt and we stood and just held each other while the tears flowed. It's so hard to believe this is who we are...this is our lives.
My Dear Sweet Bailey,
Baby girl, I can't believe it's been 2 years since you left us. So much has happened in two years...but we still miss you like crazy. I remember everything about the day you were born. I remember holding you in my arms, and being overwhelmed with such incredible love for you and at the same time, being overwhelmed by such incredible sadness because you couldn't stay.
Two years ago, you gave me the most precious gift of my life...you made me a mom. I know had you not left us, you never could have sent us your sweet sister. I know you watch out for her every day. As the butterflies were in the yard this weekend, I wondered if you and your friends came to visit. I know you have so many friends up there, because I am blessed to be friends with their mommies.
I know you are having the best party up in Heaven today. I know you are enjoying some cake and ice cream and loving every single bit of it. The Heavens were crying this morning as mommy cried too.
You are such an amazing little girl and I am blessed that you are mine.
Sweet girl, please keep your sister safe and watch out for her. We tell her about you all the time and she will know that you are watching out for her.
Happy 2nd Birthday my precious little girl! Mommy, Daddy, and Cameron love you so much and so do so many others. Your short time here on Earth has affected so many others and you are so incredibly loved.
Love,
Mommy
Sleep was a rarity last night, and what little bit I got was not restful...Adam didn't sleep much either. And at 3:33 a.m. this morning, my eyes popped open...and I came apart. I typed my Happy Birthday post to Bailey on Facebook and cried as I posted it. And it was absolutely fitting that it was pouring down rain this morning as I remembered everything that happened on that fateful day. Every time a text message came in, a facebook comment was posted, a picture or a video was posted, the tears flowed.
Finally today, Bailey was also moved to her final resting place on this Earth. She is no longer at the foot of my Grandma's grave. And even though, I have no doubt that my Grandma would have been honored for her to be there (stone and all), I no longer have to worry about the drama. We really wanted her and her stone moved before her birthday so we could put out flowers and it all came together. Her stone was moved on Friday and she was moved this morning. Because everything is done, we were able to go out to visit and put out her flowers.
We went to Hobby Lobby and picked out the flowers we wanted and Adam got his cat tails to add to the bouquets...those will always be included in her birthday bouquets. It's his thing...and I love that he has a special thing just for her.
We put them out while Cameron tried to eat dirt and we stood and just held each other while the tears flowed. It's so hard to believe this is who we are...this is our lives.
2 candles lit for her 2nd Birthday
Cameron and Daddy try to figure out how the wreath goes in the ground.
New flowers for her final Earthly resting place.
My Dear Sweet Bailey,
Baby girl, I can't believe it's been 2 years since you left us. So much has happened in two years...but we still miss you like crazy. I remember everything about the day you were born. I remember holding you in my arms, and being overwhelmed with such incredible love for you and at the same time, being overwhelmed by such incredible sadness because you couldn't stay.
Two years ago, you gave me the most precious gift of my life...you made me a mom. I know had you not left us, you never could have sent us your sweet sister. I know you watch out for her every day. As the butterflies were in the yard this weekend, I wondered if you and your friends came to visit. I know you have so many friends up there, because I am blessed to be friends with their mommies.
I know you are having the best party up in Heaven today. I know you are enjoying some cake and ice cream and loving every single bit of it. The Heavens were crying this morning as mommy cried too.
You are such an amazing little girl and I am blessed that you are mine.
Sweet girl, please keep your sister safe and watch out for her. We tell her about you all the time and she will know that you are watching out for her.
Happy 2nd Birthday my precious little girl! Mommy, Daddy, and Cameron love you so much and so do so many others. Your short time here on Earth has affected so many others and you are so incredibly loved.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Storms, Tornadoes, and Better Weather
Everything changes when you become a parent...EVERYTHING. And it doesn't matter if it's being a parent to a living or deceased child. It all still changes. You are no longer just looking out for you...it's so much more than that.
Friday, a tornado touched down less than a mile from where I work. My entire 4 story building made their way to the basement. I've lived in Oklahoma 28 years and I can only remember a handful of times of going to a cellar or basement...Two of those times being in the last year...Last year I was pregnant with Cameron and this year we have her here.
As Adam and I watched the weather all throughout Friday evening and the talk of more storms and the talk of deadly tornadoes, we decided to pack up and go to my parent's house...my mamaw lives a block away and she has a storm shelter should we need it. So at 9:00 at night, we are packing a suitcase for me, a bag for Cameron, and gathering her things to spend 2 nights at my parent's house. As a parent to a living child now, her safety was my one concern, and I wanted to make sure she would be fine.
As we were packing everything, Adam asked me this question: "Should our house blow away this weekend and we come home to nothing, what in this house can you not live without?". There was only one response "Bailey's tub...everything else is replaceable". Bailey's tub...That encompasses a lot of stuff...Bailey's tub contains her memory box from the hospital that has her outfit and hat that she wore at the hospital. It also has other things that were hers that I wanted to make sure we knew where they were. So, it got loaded in the car too. As a parent to a deceased child, the safety of that box/tub was a major concern. It has irreplaceable items that were hers...the only things we have that actually belong to her.
Fortunately for us, the storms were rain and strong winds, but no tornadoes in our area. Other parts were not as fortunate, and my heart goes out to those communities. We still stayed at my parent's house for Friday night and Saturday night, just to play it safe though. One of the first things on our agenda is to get a storm shelter.
On Sunday, Cameron turned 7 months old, and it rained for a good hour at my parent's house...so I took it as the perfect time for some pictures!
Friday, a tornado touched down less than a mile from where I work. My entire 4 story building made their way to the basement. I've lived in Oklahoma 28 years and I can only remember a handful of times of going to a cellar or basement...Two of those times being in the last year...Last year I was pregnant with Cameron and this year we have her here.
As Adam and I watched the weather all throughout Friday evening and the talk of more storms and the talk of deadly tornadoes, we decided to pack up and go to my parent's house...my mamaw lives a block away and she has a storm shelter should we need it. So at 9:00 at night, we are packing a suitcase for me, a bag for Cameron, and gathering her things to spend 2 nights at my parent's house. As a parent to a living child now, her safety was my one concern, and I wanted to make sure she would be fine.
As we were packing everything, Adam asked me this question: "Should our house blow away this weekend and we come home to nothing, what in this house can you not live without?". There was only one response "Bailey's tub...everything else is replaceable". Bailey's tub...That encompasses a lot of stuff...Bailey's tub contains her memory box from the hospital that has her outfit and hat that she wore at the hospital. It also has other things that were hers that I wanted to make sure we knew where they were. So, it got loaded in the car too. As a parent to a deceased child, the safety of that box/tub was a major concern. It has irreplaceable items that were hers...the only things we have that actually belong to her.
Fortunately for us, the storms were rain and strong winds, but no tornadoes in our area. Other parts were not as fortunate, and my heart goes out to those communities. We still stayed at my parent's house for Friday night and Saturday night, just to play it safe though. One of the first things on our agenda is to get a storm shelter.
On Sunday, Cameron turned 7 months old, and it rained for a good hour at my parent's house...so I took it as the perfect time for some pictures!
Someone just woke up...sleepy girl!
Ball...check! Foot...check! Clean diaper...well, we're working on it!
She sticks her tongue out at everything nowadays....
Picture with mommy! Excuse my wet and unbrushed hair...
I can feed myself!
7 month picture with her Hello Kitty Dog
7 month picture by herself. I couldn't get her to sit still!
Yesterday was beautiful weather though and Cameron was not extremely thrilled to be inside, so as Adam was using the tiller in my flower bed (we're re-doing the whole thing), Cameron and I went outside. She loved being out on the front porch and she was being so cute that I couldn't help but take more pictures!
Happy girl with her teeth shining through!
Sitting on the porch and hanging out!
Tongue is out again!
Taking a picture with my happy girl!
She stuck her tongue so I thought I should too! My phone started slipping before I snapped the picture!
It's so much easier when she's in a good mood and happy! I love her even when she's a grump though!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Time to Play Catch Up!
I have been such a horrible blogger. Let's just say that 2012 has been rather stressful. January started off with me finding out my job was going to be eliminated. That was just fantastic let me tell you. I was never in danger of any kind of lay off, but those who were displaced had to find other jobs and that just stressed me out because I enjoy my job (most days).
February brought on the drama of having to make the decision to move Bailey and her headstone. We quickly got that resolved and figured out what we are going to do. All paperwork has been approved to have her moved, we just need the weather to cooperate with us a little bit so we can get the headstone moved, and then she will be moved at or around the same time. Bailey will be next to where my mamaw will be and my papaw has been moved from Missouri as of last week too. Adam and I bought the lot on the North side of my mamaw and papaw's lot, so one of us will eventually be buried next to Bailey too.
Here are some pictures from February! Bows in the face, chilling on daddy, her 5 month picture, wearing her "Little Sister" outfit from Allison, Josh, Genevieve, and Drew, ready for a walk with mommy and daddy, and in her Valentine's outfit.
Here are some pictures from February! Bows in the face, chilling on daddy, her 5 month picture, wearing her "Little Sister" outfit from Allison, Josh, Genevieve, and Drew, ready for a walk with mommy and daddy, and in her Valentine's outfit.
March - I decided to just lay low. With Cameron turning 6 months, getting teeth (she has both of her bottom teeth now!), having a 6 month photo shoot (got some REALLY cute pictures, but I have no digital copies to post), and everything in between - we just needed to chill. Cameron had her 6 month appointment - she weighed in at 20 pounds 7.5 ounces (98th percentile) and was 26.5 inches (77th percentile). She thought playing with the paper on the bed/table was too fun!
Here are some pictures from March! I stood her up in her crib and just hung out like that, bathtime and a climpse of the 2 bottom teeth, playing with her Hello Kitty dog, St. Patrick's Day outfits (one for mommy and one for daddy), how she starts off in her crib...and then how she ends up, and her 6 month picture!
April is now here - Bailey's month. Last year was so different. I was pregnant with Cameron and I was a nervous wreck in the weeks leading up to April 30th. I don't know why, but I just felt like on that day, it was possible my world might come crashing down again. It of course, didn't happen, but it just felt like it could. This year, I still feel the anxiety and disbelief that it's been 2 years already. But, our lives are filled with such a joy that Cameron brings (even when she is cranky...which is a daily occurrence here!). It's such a strange feeling to have a mixture of joy and sadness all at the same time.
April has also brought a promotion and raise for me, so now I can rest a little easier about the job situation. Bailey will hopefully be moved before her 2nd birthday, because I refuse to put more flowers out until she is moved...I hate to think it, but I'm pretty sure I now know where her flowers at Christmas went.
We are 3 days away from Cameron being 7 months old. She is eating Stage 2 foods (we tried some stage 3 tonight and that was an EPIC FAIL!), holds her bottle on her own, rolls both ways now, and continues to amaze us every day! We go back to her eye doctor on the 27th to have her eyes re-examined. We see some progress some days, and others it feels like there are none. I suspect she will have to have surgery to correct her eyes.
Here are some pictures so far from April - these are all from Easter Sunday. Hanging out with her cousin Desiree, hanging out with daddy, picture with the big egg, trying to reach for the big egg, really working at getting the smaller pink egg, and then trying to eat it..., making funny faces, and then finally over all of it!
Almost 7 months! Time is just going by way too fast!
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