Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Brave and Strong

I'm rather proud of myself today.  I have a friend, who was due 2 weeks after my due date, and she gave birth to her baby boy today at 31w2d.  He weighed a little over 3 pounds, is in the NICU, but is doing well.  I'm proud of myself because I went to go see her.  It's a step in the right direction.  She is in the same ward I was, in the same hospital, and was actually right around the corner from my room.  I started having anxiety before I got there, but I did not let it control me.  The memories of EVERYTHING that happened the day I went into pre-term labor and had to deliver Bailey came rushing back.  I remember getting wheeled around in the bed...I remember the lights.  I remember the panic and how scared I felt.  I remember the complete sadness.  I remember all the tears that were shed.  I remember the horrible feeling I had when I was wheeled out of the hospital in a wheelchair and no baby.  All of those memories and the anxiety came flooding back...but I controlled it today!  I put on my best brave face, and away I went. 

I was brave...I was strong...I did what I didn't think I would be able to do.  It was not my first time back in that hospital (I went to see her a couple of weeks ago when she first went into labor), but that is the first time that I had to go back to that floor in L&D.  Last time I went to a different floor of L&D, and it looked different...it was different.

We have to be so strong.  We have to carry what feels like the weight of the world on our shoulders sometimes...Emotionally and mentally this is tough.  I've made it this far though...One step at a time...one foot in front of the other...

11 comments:

mistyladawn said...

I'm so proud of you Danae. you are the strongest person I know. Love ya lots!!

mommy4boys said...

It is so hard and you are doing a great job! You are such a strong person and an inspiration.

Amber said...

I am so proud of you! It takes a very strong and brave woman to do what you did tonight! I pray daily that you will soon have an earthly baby to cuddle!
Hugs!
Amber

Dana said...

I'm proud of you! That was so hard to do. You are so brave and strong!

car said...

Wow, I am in awe. I hope your friend appreciates how much it took for you to go visit her.

Melissa said...

I'm proud of you too! Now, send some of your bravery my way because I'm in the same situation and need to work up enough nerve to visit my friend who just had her son.

Elaine said...

Good Job Danae!! I know it's hard and we have to be extra strong at times like this. My sister will be delivering soon and I don't know how I'll handle it. Send a little of your strength my way! Just remember that one day our friends and family will be visiting us in the hospital after delivering a little one!!

Violet1122 said...

You are brave - what a courageous thing to do. Lots of people may not realize how hard it was for you to go... but we do.

Bravo!!

Nicole said...

Danae, I'm so proud of you! That is a very brave thing and I'm sure it was a huge blessing to your friend that you did that for her. On this road of losing a child, we have so many giants to face. It can be so hard... So you should feel like you accomplished something! :)

Tara Brown said...

Wow, so proud of you!!! That would be tough but I bet you are glad you did it!

Julie said...

i'm proud of you; i'm not sure i could have done it. i have four friends having babies this fall, and i don't think i will up to seeing their babies or looking at pictures, or even hearing about them, much less going to see them in the hospital. you are truly a great friend to her. i hope her baby thrives.