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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Better Day

Note to readers:  There is mention of something hurtful my mother said to me this morning.  If you are family, I need for you NOT to say anything to her about her insensitivity in this particular situation.  When and if I am ready to talk to her about this situation, I will.  This is my outlet to express myself, and I don't need anyone going and "telling my mommy".  Thank you and happy reading.

So far, today is a better day than any day I have had in this past week.  Today, I smiled, I laughed, and I felt okay.  Even after a very restless night last night, I still felt okay. 

My mom called me this morning and was telling me about their trip to Disney World (they just got back) and she was saying there was something they didn't get to do, and I made the comment "oh, well.  You'll do it the next time you go", because I know my parents will eventually go back to Disney World.  Her response was "Of course.  We're going to take the grandkids someday.  So, you guys need to hurry up so there isn't a big gap between Desiree and her cousin".  And that comment hurt.  I know she didn't mean it to be hurtful, but it did.  We have been trying for 4 years to have a successful pregnancy.  We have been trying since August 2006, but didn't tell anyone about this battle until after our first pregnancy and miscarriage in January 2008.  And what hurt me even more is that Bailey should be still baking, all nice and happy in my belly, but she's not.  And it didn't seem to phase my mother one bit when she said what she did.

But, even though I had to deal with that comment (at the start of the day), my day still was a better one. 

I met up with my cousin and we went and got pedicures.  I ventured out of my comfort zone and even got zebra stripish looking things on my pink toes (for a picture of this, see June 26th picture on my "A Picture A Day" page).  We talked about anything and everything.  She listened when I talked about Bailey.  She listened when I talked about my craptastic conversation from earlier in the day.  She even listened when I talked about my visit from "Aunt Flo".  Hopefully I didn't drive her nuts!

After a pedicure and making my feet feel 110% better and my toes look beautimous again, I headed home.  And on the way home, I passed a sno-cone stand.  And as a topper for a day of feeling better than I have in over a week, I treated myself to a "Tiger Blood" sno-cone. 

It was the best $1.50 I have spent on myself in a while.  I ate every single bit of that sugary flavored ice, and loved every single bit of it.


Violet1122 said...

Snow cones! Love those!

I'm so glad you had a better day! It seems like you have a really great cousin - I'm glad she was there to listen and be supportive.

I am sorry to hear about your conversation with your mom, though. I think sometimes people say stuff like that to try and be "inspiring". People who have never struggled with infertility can never understand. I know it hurts worse, coming from your mother.

I hope your Sunday is a better day as well. Love the pedicure! ((Big Hugs))

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry your mom was insensitive! :( I can see someone in my family saying something like that, just not thinking. Gahhh. That snocone looks awesome. : ) And now you've made me want a pedi lol.

Kristin said...

Glad yesterday was a better day! My Bestie took me out for a pedicure two weeks after Stevie died and it was just what I needed :) That snow cone looks DELISH!!

Julie said...

i'm so sorry about your mom's insensitive comment. i, too, would have been hurt by that, for both reasons - not only that bailey should still be in your belly, but that it was so hard for you to get pregnant in the first place. i can relate to both things.

i'm glad you had a nice day, though. i'm planning to treat myself to a pedicure this week, and am looking forward to it.