I was talking to Dana (Jacob's Mommy) tonight on Facebook, and we were talking about how going through the battle of trying to conceive (ttc) again, and even knowing what has happened to us, it is worth the risk. And I found myself saying "No risk, no reward". But it's true...even after going through this awful experience of losing my baby, and knowing that it could very possibly happen again (Dear God, I hope it doesn't), I am still willing to do it again. If I never took the risk, and decided never to try again, then there would never be the chance of having the reward of having a "take home" baby. One to bring home, share my love with, hold and cuddle...to give my all.
I knew from the moment we lost Bailey, that I would be willing to take the risk. I knew it wasn't the end of the journey for us. I guess I knew it before then, because otherwise we would have stopped after our first miscarriage. The risk is worth it. There may be heartache, anxiety, and fear...but it'll be worth it. It has to be.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
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4 comments:
I know what you mean. I said the other day, "if my next baby dies, that would be it. I couldn't try again." Then I thought, "actually, I probably would..." I honestly think I'd keep trying until someone told me there was no possible way for me to have a successful presgnancy. Even if they gave me a 1% chance of it working, that would probably be enough for me to give it a shot...
It's amazing what we are willing to risk. Over and over again.
I pray for you often. When you are ready to go through the TTC battle, please know I am in your corner rooting for you!
my heart breaks all over again when i think about what it would be like to have to go through this again. but i NEED to be a mother. even though i am hating the prospect of TTC, especially considering how hard it was the first time, i am looking forward to being pregnant again. and i also know i will spend 9 months walking on eggshells.
i just keep telling myself how much it will all be worth it when we get to bring home a live, healthy baby.
I agree!!! <3
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