Monday, June 21, 2010

Funk

Since Saturday, I have been in a "funk". Father's Day was horribly hard, and emotionally, trying to prepare for Father's Day was hard. So, I thought once Father's Day came and went, and the tears were cried, I would be out of my funk...and today I have found that NOT to be the case.

I'm still in a funk...I was 20 minutes late for work this morning because of the funk. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to take a shower, and I didn't want to go to work. So I sat in front of my computer, I played Cubis and listened to some iTunes, and I piddled around until it was 20 minutes after I should have left, and finally I left for work. And in case you are wondering, yes I did shower.

I am always on time...I'm normally early...but today, I didn't care.

My boss asked if I was having a bad day...the response was "yes" (short, simple, to the point), and her response was 2 parts...the first "what caused your bad day/weekend?" I thought to my self..."Well...um...duh", but didn't say it...I just responded with "I'm pretty sure Father's Day". The 2nd part to the response was "Oh, well at least the bad days are getting further apart".

Here's the deal...In the beginning, I would have a descent day, then a bad day. I would have a really "good" day and then have really bad day. Now I've had a few descent days, just to turn around have multiple days of bad. I really HATE this roller coaster...I never wanted to get on it in the first place, and now I wish I could get off of it.

But, it's the roller coaster I am going to have to ride for the rest of my life.

3 comments:

Lucid Anne said...

Sigh. (The boss.) Every single time someone asks me "why?" in regards to oh, bad mood, lack of sleep, bad day, etc.... I always must give them a look of pure "you must be an effing idiot"- I mean really? Our babies died. Maybe not YESTERDAY but my GOD its only been a matter of weeks... And you've GOT to know holidays hurt... right? You'd think people would think about that, but I guess they don't.

I've been in a funk since Sunday too. I called in to work today.

Nicole said...

I've come to realize that it's okay to be on an emotional rollercoaster, meaning it's okay to feel however you feel at any given moment. You have the right to be sad and you should never feel guilty if you feel okay. One day at a time. A friend of mine who lost her baby last year told me that eventually, those bad days will become less and less. I've already seen that in my journey, but I still have my bad days! (Like today since it's my due date... which thank you, by the way, for your kind words on my blog!)
Oh, and try not to take other people (like your boss) too seriously. They have NO IDEA what this is like.

Kalialani said...

I feel you Danae. I too am having a bad morning. I almost didn't go to work but I decided to go at the last minute. I hate this rollercoaster we're on and I wonder if it will ever be a smooth ride the rest of the way. Doubt it, but I sure do hope so! Thinking of you and hoping your days get better <3